When my spouse and I tied the knot, we were both deep in our graduate studies, living what I refer to as “ramen noodle poor.” For our wedding, we enlisted a random biker in a bandana to officiate our ceremony, surrounded by friends, with one of them holding their phone so my mother could listen in from afar. We simply couldn’t afford her flight from Florida. The biker charged us $80, and parting with that sum felt like a significant financial strain.
As students, my partner and I braved the chilly winters of Cincinnati without heating in our cramped studio, as even our part-time jobs couldn’t cover the gas bill. We walked through snowy streets to attend classes, relying on public transport for longer trips. Our fridge was often nearly bare. During that time, we navigated our education independently, with minimal parental support.
Now, as a mother of two—ages 10 and 6—I have established college savings accounts for both children, initiated during my pregnancies, with monthly contributions. The balances fluctuate with the S&P, and barring another economic downturn, they should cover a year or two at a state school. However, this will not suffice for a full four-year degree, especially if they choose a private university.
You might expect that, given my own experiences, I would be eager to bridge the financial gap for my children. However, I don’t intend to do so. I believe it’s crucial for them to learn the value of financial independence, just as I did. Many argue that parents should ensure their children attend the best institutions regardless of cost, but I see it differently.
Selfishly, while my spouse and I could afford to pay for our kids’ education by tapping into our retirement savings, I question the wisdom of sacrificing our future comfort for an education that may or may not be utilized. Retiring comfortably is important to us, and it’s vital to avoid becoming financially dependent on our children, especially when they will have their own families to support.
However, my primary motivation goes beyond mere financial considerations; I want my children to develop resilience. I want them to apply for scholarships, seek out funding opportunities, take out loans, and possibly start at a community college before transferring to a four-year institution. Whatever path they choose, I want them to work for it.
I financed my own education in music performance entirely through scholarships and a modest amount of loans. While I now realize I may have benefited from double majoring, the essential lesson is that opportunities to fund education do exist if one is willing to seek them out. I have a master’s degree and enjoy my freelance writing and social media management roles, which were not directly tied to my degree. The most valuable lessons I learned came from navigating the financial landscape of my education.
I take pride in having survived on a tight budget during college. It instilled in me a sense of financial competence that I want my children to gain, even if it means they encounter some hardship. If a little struggle fosters qualities like determination, resourcefulness, and independence alongside their academic studies, then I consider it a worthwhile investment.
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Summary
In summary, while my husband and I could financially support our children’s college education, we choose not to. It’s essential for them to learn independence and resourcefulness, qualities that will serve them well in life. We believe that experiencing the struggle of funding their education will impart valuable lessons that go beyond the classroom.
Keyphrase: children’s college funding
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