My Aspirations for My Biracial Children

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In recent times, our nation has witnessed a wave of intense discussions surrounding race and identity. The recent presidential primaries have ignited a surge of racially charged rhetoric that is concerning, to say the least. A recent advertisement by a popular retail brand featuring an interracial family sparked significant backlash online, with some individuals expressing their disdain for mixed-race relationships and advocating for “pure” lineages. This, coupled with the troubling commentary surrounding the achievements of biracial individuals like Malia Obama, has been disheartening.

For me, this discourse is not just a national issue; it’s deeply personal. My partner, Noah, is Black, and together we are raising three vibrant biracial children, the eldest of whom will soon start asking challenging questions about the world around them.

Reflecting back to 2008, a time of political excitement, we felt a profound sense of hope as our nation was on the verge of electing its first biracial president. Noah and I often discussed how remarkable it was for our then-toddler, Liam, to grow up with a Black president, blissfully unaware of the historical significance of this milestone.

The complexities of our nation’s history with race are vast, and while I cannot cover them all, I can share my observations. The racial tensions that have surfaced in recent years, especially during this election cycle, are unsettling. I often find myself tuning out the news, overwhelmed by the fear for my children’s future.

Fortunately, our children attend a welcoming neighborhood school where diversity is celebrated. However, outside of this safe environment, we sometimes face unwelcome scrutiny. When I am out with the kids alone, I have encountered questions about their birth mother. While I appreciate the curiosity, it’s disheartening to see such a lack of sensitivity in these interactions.

A family acquaintance once shared, with an uncomfortable laugh, that her parents greatly admire Noah but would be uneasy if their daughter brought home a Black partner. This scenario, though perhaps not overtly hostile, reveals a common underlying bias. While I may not have encountered overt racism, I recognize that many people may hold favorable views of Noah yet still harbor reservations about interracial relationships.

While I cannot change the hearts of those who hold prejudiced beliefs, I wonder if a broader segment of the population harbors subconscious biases against families like ours. To foster understanding, we might take a moment to envision a child.

Imagine a young boy with curly hair and brown skin, and consider the assumptions that might come to mind regarding his life or abilities. Yet, he is merely a child who delights in building with Legos and exploring the adventures of Star Wars. His brother, who recently decided to grow an Afro, is captivated by the tales of Laura Ingalls in the Little House on the Prairie series. And their little sister, with her beautiful olive skin and soft curls, adores her brothers and enjoys her dolls of all colors, as well as reading about Thomas the Tank Engine.

Regardless of our differing opinions on politics or social policies, I believe we can unite around the innocence and wonder of childhood. My hope is that my children are shielded from harmful terms like “miscegenation” and “half-breed” for many years to come. I dream that every adult they encounter will look beyond preconceived notions and appreciate them for who they truly are. Ultimately, I hope they live in a world where their character defines them more than their racial background.

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In summary, my aspirations for my biracial children revolve around their ability to navigate a world that values them for their individuality rather than their racial background. I hope for a future where they can thrive without the weight of societal prejudices.

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