How to Navigate Returning to the Workforce After Being a Stay-at-Home Mom

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After spending nearly ten years managing the chaos of motherhood, I find myself ready to return to the workforce. It wasn’t an easy decision—who would want to hire someone who often goes days without a shower and uses playful terms like “snickerdoodle” to express frustration? Yet, here I am, swapping my comfy loungewear for professional attire and questioning whether pantyhose are still a thing in today’s offices.

As I prepare for my first day back, my partner gently reminds me to resist the impulse to respond to everyday workplace situations with my learned maternal instincts. To avoid any embarrassing moments, I’ve made a mental list of things to steer clear from:

  1. Avoid Threatening Co-Workers with Time-Outs
    While it might be tempting to use that age-old parenting tactic of putting a misbehaving colleague in a chair for a timeout, I can only imagine how quickly HR would get involved if I tried. I’ve mastered the “displeased parent” glare, but maybe it’s best to keep that under wraps on day one.
  2. Skip Overly Enthusiastic Praise
    It’s an automatic response for parents to validate every little thing their children do. However, exclaiming “Fantastic job!” for even the smallest achievements in a professional setting could be taken as sarcasm, which is not the impression I want to leave on my new boss.
  3. Don’t Wipe Faces During Lunch Meetings
    Even if my colleague, Tom from finance, can’t seem to keep his lunch off his beard, I must resist the urge to clean up for him. No one wants a co-worker with a wet wipe on the prowl during a business lunch.
  4. Refrain from Third-Person References
    I can already picture a scenario where I’d snap back at a colleague, “Jessica doesn’t like that attitude!” That would certainly not help my reputation in the office.
  5. Leave the Sticker Charts at Home
    While I once used rewards like stickers to motivate my kids, I doubt they will have the same effect on adults. Instead, I’ll rely on the traditional office treats like donuts to boost morale.
  6. Avoid Bribery
    No matter how heated things get, I must remember that resorting to bribery is not an acceptable workplace strategy. Adults are generally not swayed by cheese sticks or stale jellybeans.

Despite my excitement about working alongside adults again, I can’t help but feel a pang of anxiety about leaving my children in someone else’s care.

Now, as I embark on this new chapter, I’ve packed a professional lunch (without yogurt tubes or juice boxes) and donned a clean outfit. Fingers crossed that I don’t embarrass myself with comments like, “Thank you for using your inside voice!”

For those considering similar transitions or exploring home insemination options, you might find this article useful: At-Home Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit. If you’re looking for additional resources on pregnancy and home insemination, this link offers valuable insights: Healthline on IVF.

In summary, transitioning from being a stay-at-home mom to rejoining the workforce can be a daunting yet exciting experience. By being mindful of professional conduct and avoiding maternal habits, you can navigate this new chapter with confidence.

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