Every day begins with a lively jump on the bed. Our queen mattress is side-carred to a small mattress on the floor, creating an ideal setup for co-sleeping, which my young boys find impossible to resist. The risk of injury is minimal, making it an ideal makeshift trampoline for them. They bounce high, causing covers to fly and laughter to fill the room. Each morning, I take a deep breath and say, “Yes, you can jump on the bed, but please don’t do a somersault over your little brother.”
Sometimes, it’s a joy to say yes. “Yes, you can wear your superhero costume to the park!” or “Yes, ice cream for breakfast is fine today!” However, other situations require me to suppress my instincts and exhibit more patience than I often possess. This journey of saying yes is not always whimsical; it can be challenging.
Take the activity of coloring, for instance. I enjoy coloring, and like most adults, I prefer to stay within the lines, as that’s the conventional approach to creating an image. But my children often have their own artistic visions, opting to splash vibrant colors over a character I had hoped they would color more carefully. When I express my frustration, I notice their disappointment; they aren’t interested in coloring the way I envision.
Adjusting my expectations is one of the most difficult aspects of learning to say yes. We often have preconceived notions about how things should be—markers are for paper, puddles aren’t for jumping, and insects belong outside. As parents, we typically learn to say no, but the real challenge lies in recognizing our ingrained “no” and shifting towards a more open-minded approach.
We need to allow ourselves to see the world through our children’s eyes. Perhaps beds are indeed for jumping, ketchup can be a delightful topping on fries, and mud can simply be a fun adventure, especially when a bath is readily available afterward. It’s perfectly acceptable to wear a swimsuit to the store or run barefoot along the trail. Instead of reflexively saying no, can we embrace the opportunity to say yes?
Changing our expectations as parents can be tough. Saying yes often leads to messy faces and mismatched outfits. It may mean climbing up the slide instead of using it the proper way, making us feel like we’re defying social norms. Questions arise: Why are they permitted to jump in the puddles while I have to stay dry? Why do they get to wear costumes in public? Other parents might look on with envy or irritation, as chaos has a way of spreading joyfully.
Recently, my son donned his Iron Man costume to the grocery store. We received numerous smiles and even a few encouraging high-fives. An amused teenager remarked, “If you can’t go to the store as Iron Man at 5, when can you really do it?”
Children only get to be five years old once. It’s essential to discard that ingrained need to say no. There will be plenty of opportunities later in life to conform to societal standards, color inside the lines, and follow the rules. Right now, our children deserve to hear “yes” more often, and in doing so, we can reclaim our own sense of freedom.
So, let go of the rigidity. Take a deep breath and embrace the power of saying yes.
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Summary:
Saying yes to our children can be challenging but ultimately rewarding. By embracing a more open-minded approach, we allow our kids to explore their creativity and enjoy life’s spontaneity. This shift not only enriches their experiences but also brings a sense of joy and freedom to our parenting journey.
Keyphrase: Embracing yes in parenting
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