As a parent, I have the pleasure of raising a redheaded son, affectionately nicknamed “Orangehead” in our home. His hair, a blend of sun-kissed strands and rich copper tones, is captivating—akin to the mesmerizing depths of a tiger’s eye.
Shortly after his birth, a university friend, who also had fiery hair, lamented, “He’s got the curse.” My husband and I were taken aback; we had envisioned a future filled with children sporting beautiful auburn curls. However, our friend recounted tales of how his hair brought him trouble during childhood. We dismissed his concerns, thinking they must stem from other issues.
Now, we understand. Each time our little one steps outside without a hat, strangers are quick to comment. The remarks range from innocent observations to playful jibes, including:
- “Wow! Look at that hair!”
- “You’re going to be trouble!”
- “Look at you, Red!”
- “You’re a fiery little one, aren’t you?”
- “A ginger!”
- “That hair is just too much!”
- “Hey, carrot top! Did you munch on a whole bag of carrots?”
- “Redheads dance with the devil.”
While these comments are often well-intentioned, they can be overwhelming for a young child. I can see the awe and admiration in the faces of those around him, but he struggles to perceive it that way. Often, he hears statements that lead him to feel that his hair is “too much,” resulting in moments of shyness and lowered confidence.
Taking our friend’s warning to heart, I decided to take action. Once he turned 2, I began addressing the comments. If someone exclaimed, “A ginger!” I would respond, “Yes, isn’t his hair beautiful?” If they joked about him being trouble, I countered, “No, he’s a kind and helpful boy.” Most people swiftly adjusted their remarks, acknowledging his beautiful hair, yet it still felt insufficient.
Unfortunately, positive representations of red-haired boys are scarce. While red-haired girls may face hurtful stereotypes, they often have uplifting portrayals to counterbalance the negativity. Boys, however, frequently see their likenesses depicted negatively, even in beloved children’s books. In media, red-haired men are rarely shown as desirable or capable; even when they are, they sometimes come across as comical or foolish.
I found myself pondering how to change this narrative for my son. Then, a breakthrough occurred when ESPN featured Andy Dalton on its cover. Portrayed as intense yet approachable, Dalton exuded confidence and charm, and crucially, his red hair was front and center.
As soon as I received the magazine, I placed it on the table in front of a friend who was visiting. I commented on how many people found Dalton handsome and cool. My son’s interest piqued, and I left the magazine around the house for the next week without further commentary.
Eight days later, my son approached me, holding the magazine. “Mommy,” he inquired, “do you think this man’s hair is handsome?”
“Yes, buddy, I absolutely do,” I replied. His smile radiated relief and self-assurance, a clear indication that he was beginning to embrace his unique hair color.
Thank you, ESPN, for contributing to a positive shift in my son’s perception of his red hair.
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Summary
In fostering my son’s pride in his red hair, I learned to actively counter both positive and negative perceptions from others. Through intentional conversations and highlighting positive representations, I helped him embrace his unique identity, ultimately boosting his self-esteem.
Keyphrase: Red hair pride in children
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