Confessions of a Procrastinator Parent

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Updated: May 5, 2022

Originally Published: May 5, 2022

There are individuals who seem to have everything under control. They manage to drop their kids off at school right on time, sporting a fresh face of makeup and perfectly styled hair. They’ve showered, are appropriately dressed, and return forms long before the deadline. They even arrive five minutes early to every appointment.

And then there are those of us who find ourselves in a different category entirely.

Are You a Procrastinator Parent?

To help clarify whether you might be a procrastinator parent, consider the following indicators:

  1. You only fill your gas tank when the warning light appears, and then push it an additional 20 miles before finally stopping for fuel.
  2. Your vehicle has been out of gas—on more than one occasion.
  3. You delay planning vacations so much that you end up staying home when your time off comes around.
  4. Your hair is still damp at 5:30 p.m. when your partner returns from work because you just hopped in the shower at 5:25.
  5. The other parents in your carpool know you as the one who shows up in slippers and mutters at every red light.
  6. By the time you decide to buy Valentine’s Day treats, the shelves are already stocked with Easter candy.
  7. You only seem to purchase belated birthday cards.
  8. You forget to send the water bill until you discover a pink “discontinuation of service” notice on your door.
  9. By the time you take down your holiday decorations, they’re surrounded by blooming spring flowers, leading you to leave them up for the next holiday season.
  10. When you finally wear the latest fashion trends, they have become “vintage.”
  11. You clean up your home just as guests arrive, frantically stuffing stray items into the nearest closet or drawer.
  12. You do laundry only after clothes have been worn multiple times, then Febreezed and worn again.
  13. You finish reading your book club selections after the discussion has already occurred.
  14. To you, being five minutes late feels like arriving on time.
  15. Thanks to expedited shipping services, you order everything from gifts to household supplies just 30 minutes before you need them.
  16. You can spend hours researching topics like “best tweezers for unwanted chin hairs” while neglecting the work project due tomorrow.
  17. Your daily exercise is limited to running five blocks to catch the commuter train each morning.
  18. You remember to schedule your annual health appointments only after running out of essential medications.
  19. The library fines for overdue books you’ve accrued exceed your most recent credit card bill.
  20. Finding just a half-empty jar of strawberry jam, some pickles, and moldy cottage cheese in your fridge is your cue that it’s time for grocery shopping.
  21. You celebrated your 10th wedding anniversary a full 11 years after your wedding date.
  22. When you finally make date night reservations, the only available slot is at 5:15 p.m. for the early bird special, which works fine since you both know you’ll be asleep by 9:30 anyway.

If you’re one of those people who seems to have it all figured out, we admire you. If you identify with the procrastinator parent experience, don’t worry—you’re not alone. Many share your struggles, and there are some advantages to this approach to life. For instance, you can… oh no, look at the time! I’m late to pick up my kids from school!

For more insights on family life, you may find our other blog post on the couples’ fertility journey for intracervical insemination helpful. Also, if you are seeking reliable information on home insemination, visit this link. You can also explore Healthline for excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination.

In summary, procrastination is a common trait among many parents. Recognizing these habits can lead to self-acceptance and even a sense of camaraderie with fellow procrastinators. Embrace your unique approach to parenting, and remember, you’re in good company.

Keyphrase: Procrastinator Parent

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