As a parent, navigating the frequent bathroom needs of my 6-year-old, who seems to need to relieve himself every 15 minutes, can be quite the challenge. I’ve become adept at locating restrooms in every venue we visit, not unlike someone preparing for a long road trip. Meanwhile, my 4-year-old is often in distress, clutching himself and complaining, which adds to the urgency. Although I should be more compassionate, it can be exhausting to wrangle all three of my boys, including the 2-year-old, into a restroom while ensuring the youngest doesn’t touch anything unsanitary.
After countless trips to the restroom, including mishaps like my 2-year-old licking the bathroom wall and attempting to hand me toilet paper, I eventually had to rethink my approach. One day, at the family restroom in a local store, I decided it was time for a change. I pointed toward the restroom and said, “Alright, go ahead. Jack, you take Ben with you.”
To my surprise, they managed to handle the situation quite well. They used the toilet, washed their hands, and exited without incident. It felt like a new chapter had begun.
The boys often prefer the men’s room, where I remind them, “If anyone tries to talk to you or touch you, shout as loud as you can.” They agree, and I let them venture into the row of urinals. Although I prefer they don’t go in there alone, I sometimes have no choice. Despite the statistics indicating that children are more at risk from known individuals than strangers, my instincts still make me uneasy about sending my young sons into the men’s room.
As a result, I often send them into the women’s restroom. While women can also pose a threat, the statistical likelihood is significantly lower compared to other risks, like someone attempting to steal items from my shopping cart while I supervise them. This approach allows me to keep an eye on the baby and reduces the awkwardness of hovering as they go through the process of using the toilet.
Many people might find it alarming that I allow my 4- and 6-year-olds to use public restrooms by themselves. Concerns about potential misconduct, vandalism, or hygiene often arise. However, I find that what I worry about the most is ensuring their hands are washed properly.
I always send my boys in together, typically to the women’s restroom, even if it leads to some protests about wanting to use the men’s room instead. I stand nearby, maintaining a watchful eye on the door, and if they take too long, I call out to check on them. They’re aware of the boundaries and know not to engage in any destructive behavior.
There are often misconceptions about safety in restrooms, especially concerning transgender individuals. However, studies have shown that there are no documented cases of transgender individuals committing offenses in public restrooms. The likelihood of harm is far greater from individuals known to the child than from those they might encounter in these facilities. Thus, I feel comfortable allowing my children some autonomy in this area.
While some may insist that I’m putting my children at risk by allowing them to go to the bathroom alone, I believe it is essential for their growth and independence. Allowing them this responsibility fosters their sense of self and bodily integrity. They gain valuable life skills that will serve them well as they mature.
In summary, permitting my children to use public restrooms independently is both convenient for me and empowering for them. It allows for greater independence while instilling a sense of responsibility.
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