At the age of 15, I experienced my first panic attack. A friend and I were walking home when, suddenly, I collapsed, unable to speak, move, or breathe. My vision blurred, my hands shook, and I felt certain that I was dying. My friend hurried to fetch my parents, who rushed to find me curled against a tree in a fetal position. That night was filled with tears, vomiting, and hyperventilation, marking one of the most traumatic experiences of my life.
In the months that followed, I faced similar episodes, often needing to be taken to the hospital by concerned neighbors. Each time, medical professionals assured me that I was physically fine, leaving me in disbelief. I was not fine; I was grappling with an anxiety disorder.
Since then, panic attacks have been a part of my life. I’ve sought therapy and tried various mood-stabilizing medications. While some treatments offer preventive benefits, nothing has been as effective in managing my anxiety during an attack as marijuana.
I use marijuana whenever stress reaches a tipping point. Some months, I find myself needing it daily, while other times, I may go several months without using it. As I age, my sensitivity to pharmaceuticals has increased, leading me to rely on marijuana for an array of issues. Opioids heighten my anxiety, so I turn to cannabis for relief from chronic pain associated with back and shoulder injuries. Unlike sleep aids that leave me groggy and disoriented, marijuana helps me rest peacefully. It has become a remarkable remedy for my medical challenges when other treatments have failed.
I utilize a device known as a “one hitter,” which delivers just the right amount of smoke—typically two puffs suffices to alleviate my anxiety, pain, or insomnia. On particularly difficult days, I may use it up to three times to cope with simultaneous anxiety and pain.
Acquiring marijuana has its challenges; with medical marijuana only recently legalized in my state, it remains inaccessible to many, myself included. Thankfully, I have friends who assist me in obtaining it from states where medical use is permitted. As a work-at-home mother of three young children, I don’t engage with drug dealers, as they don’t fit into my lifestyle.
When I share that I use marijuana for medicinal purposes, most people are accepting. I simply explain, “I have a panic disorder, and marijuana helps me manage my anxiety attacks.” The people around me genuinely care for my wellbeing, and they understand that I seek a solution to maintain my health. While some express concern about finding help outside legal avenues, they ultimately want me to be happy and healthy.
I plan to obtain a medical marijuana license as soon as it becomes available. Both my physician and I recognize its benefits for my condition, and we await legislative decisions to broaden the criteria for medical marijuana eligibility. Ironically, if I were a combat veteran, my anxiety disorder would qualify for coverage, highlighting the arbitrary nature of current regulations.
I feel fortunate to live in a place where I can use marijuana without fearing for my safety or career. I can smoke as needed, knowing that while it might not be fully legal, it exists in a gray area where I can access it without remorse. As legalization progresses, I move closer to obtaining my medical license.
Each time I feel the onset of anxiety, with blurred vision and a racing heart, I recall that first panic attack. I remember the overwhelming fear I experienced. I take out my one hitter, inhale deeply, and feel the panic dissipate.
The fact that I have access to something that alleviates my panic attacks offers me immense peace of mind. Knowing I can avoid sleepless nights filled with tears and anxiety allows me to live a better, more secure life. I have marijuana to thank for that.
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Summary:
Marijuana has been a transformative element in managing my anxiety disorder and associated symptoms. From alleviating panic attacks to addressing pain and sleeplessness, it has served as a crucial tool in my life. As I navigate a world where medical marijuana is becoming more accessible, I look forward to formalizing my use through a medical license, ensuring I can continue prioritizing my mental health.
Keyphrase: marijuana for anxiety relief
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