“Breast is Best.” This phrase has sparked countless debates among new mothers, often referred to as the Mommy Wars. I wasn’t even aware of this term until I found myself searching for guidance on breastfeeding challenges. It’s a daunting landscape for any mother uncertain about her breastfeeding journey.
To provide some context, here’s my candid response to a close friend who inquired about my experience with motherhood after just a week with my newborn.
Exhausting. My baby is latched on constantly, to the point where I often forget to put myself together. My partner, Mark, probably wishes he didn’t have to witness the chaos. It’s as if she’s treating my breasts like a chew toy, thrashing about as if they’re the latest flavor of candy. Mark even asked me if I was giving her strawberry milk. I had to clarify, “No, that’s blood. From my nipples. Bloody, painful nipples.” She refuses to sleep anywhere but on our chests, and although she seems gassy, she won’t have a bowel movement. My hormones are all over the place—I found myself crying simply because I managed to take a shower (which I usually despise), and then again because the house still smelled like breakfast. What is happening?
Yet, there are those precious moments when she looks at me with wide eyes, or when Mark rushes to comfort her during her cries, or when my older daughter, Lucy, unexpectedly kisses her. In those instances, I realize how profoundly motherhood has changed me.
I was truly a hot mess. Breastfeeding took a toll on me not just physically, but emotionally as well. Despite her impressive strength and head control, her latch was less than ideal. It wasn’t just the pain and discomfort that made me reconsider breastfeeding; it was the emotional exhaustion. I felt disconnected from her, concerned about her bond with her father, and worried that I wasn’t fulfilling her needs. At times, I struggled to feel affection for my daughter, which led to endless tears.
Before my daughter was born, I had promised myself not to stress about breastfeeding. After all, I was formula-fed and turned out just fine. Initially, my goal was to breastfeed for the cost-saving benefits and potential weight loss. However, once I started, the pressure to “get it right” consumed me and made me lose a sense of self—all because of the act of nursing.
At the two-week mark, I made a decision. I set aside the nipple pads, creams, and all the related paraphernalia. I invested in formula and prepared a bottle, measuring out two ounces. Suddenly, she was satisfied and managed to sleep for three hours. I stopped crying. She stopped crying. Mark even reconsidered his plans for a getaway. This decision turned out to be a transformative moment for our family.
Now, I cherish my little one with an overwhelming love. I have no doubts about her well-being. In fact, when she’s 20, enjoying college life, indulging in late-night fast food, the antibodies she may have missed from breastfeeding won’t matter in the grand scheme of things.
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Summary
Breastfeeding can be a challenging experience that may lead to feelings of exhaustion and emotional disconnection for some mothers. It’s crucial to understand that every journey is unique, and it’s okay to seek alternative feeding methods if breastfeeding isn’t working for you.
Keyphrase: Breastfeeding challenges
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