I used to be fascinated by the show What Not to Wear, which aired on TLC. Even now, you might catch reruns at strange hours. The lead-up to the makeover reveals was always thrilling, and I absorbed useful insights on dressing for different body types (a quick tip: straight leg jeans and blazers are perennial favorites). While I don’t consider myself a fashion expert, I certainly felt superior to many of the participants on the show. The typical subject was often a frumpy, overwhelmed stay-at-home mom who neglected her own needs, and I was baffled by their reluctance to embrace change. Free expert advice and $5,000 worth of new clothes? Count me in! Dress me up, Clinton and Stacy—I’m all for it.
Fast forward to today, and I now find myself in the shoes of those moms. Suddenly, I understand their frustration. No, Clinton and Stacy, you don’t know better than I do. Taking away my sweatpants feels like a personal affront. The reality of chasing little ones around is far from a fashion show; it can be downright chaotic—sometimes literally.
Let’s Talk About Hair and Makeup
The show’s makeup artist, Lisa, introduced the concept of a “5-Minute Face,” but I wish she’d master the “5-Second Face.” Has she ever tried to steal a moment in front of the mirror while two toddlers wreak havoc? Five minutes can lead to total catastrophe if you’re not vigilant.
At least the hairstylist often left enough length for a ponytail. I once attempted a trendy bob with the hope of forcing myself to style it daily. Spoiler alert: it didn’t work.
While Lisa and her team are undoubtedly fashion gurus, I consider myself a practical style expert. I’ve assembled a wardrobe of sensible, budget-friendly clothing that suits my daily life. I prefer to think of myself as a Practical Mom instead of frumpy, because I’m in good shape and wear fitted yoga pants. However, I don’t quite reach the “Sexy Yoga Mom” status—my outfits lack the right amount of skin, and my “effortlessly messy” ponytail is just that: messy.
Practical Choices for Everyday Life
As a Practical Mom, I refuse to run errands or cook dinner in straight leg jeans and a blazer, as suggested by the experts. That’s date-night attire, thank you very much.
My wardrobe choices are meticulously thought out, much like a couture gown, and they serve a purpose. My running shoes offer support for pushing a double stroller and chasing after toddlers. The yoga pants allow me the flexibility to pick up toys, hoist one child onto my hip, and crawl around to entertain them. My simple tee from a discount store means I can comfortably feed my kids spaghetti without worrying about stains. A makeup-free face and unstyled hair let me save precious minutes, allowing me to leave the house with some semblance of sanity.
I admire those who maintain elaborate beauty routines, whether by choice or necessity. I don’t view myself as superior to them, nor do I think they’re better than me. My clothing choices stem from a desire for practicality, not a lack of confidence. As a stay-at-home mom, I appreciate the luxury of not having to rush in the mornings. I prefer waking up when my kids do and skipping the beauty routine altogether.
Of course, I enjoy looking nice and put in the effort for special occasions, but for everyday life—when my main interactions involve small talk with my favorite cashier at Target—my practical mom attire is perfectly adequate.
Clothes convey messages, and mine unapologetically communicate, “Back off, Clinton and Stacy,” and “Thanks, Lisa. See you tomorrow!”
In summary, while the allure of a makeover may seem tempting, embracing practical clothing that accommodates the realities of motherhood has become my personal style.
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Keyphrase: Mommy Makeover
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