Let’s address a common misconception: my 3.5-year-old just began consistently sleeping through the night. Yes, you read that correctly—3.5 years, not months.
Many may find this surprising, but there are just as many parents out there nodding in agreement, perhaps even expressing gratitude for this honesty. When I was expecting my first child, the notion that my baby wouldn’t sleep through the night for years seemed unfathomable. Like many new parents, I subscribed to the belief that sleep deprivation would only last a few months—after all, that’s the prevailing stereotype.
However, reality proved otherwise. When my baby arrived, I experienced a level of sleep deprivation that left me feeling like a character from a horror film, desperately trying to function while nursing every few hours. As the three-month mark approached, I remember asking my mother when I could expect things to improve. “Oh, I recall you sleeping through the night at around three months,” she assured me.
Yet, once the milestone arrived, my baby was still waking frequently for feedings, with the added challenge of a four-month sleep regression that had him awake almost hourly. Surviving that first year was a challenge, marked by some nights of longer sleep stretches and others filled with constant interruptions that made me feel on the verge of collapse.
Sleep training was not for me; each time I attempted to guide my baby toward independent sleep, the situation worsened. My children did not respond to the typical methods; instead, they preferred to express their displeasure in loud, prolonged cries.
When my first child turned one, I naively thought that sleep would improve. While I did notice longer sleep periods, “sleeping through the night” remained elusive. A conversation with my mother revealed the truth: “Oh, that’s just when your colic ended. You didn’t sleep through the night until you were at least two or three.” This revelation was a relief; knowing I wasn’t alone in this struggle would have alleviated much of my stress.
Some parents are fortunate enough to have what I affectionately call “rainbow unicorn sleepers”—those babies who peacefully drift off to sleep on their own. However, for those of us dealing with less than ideal sleeping situations, it’s essential to acknowledge the reality of infant sleep. Most babies won’t sleep through the night (defined as 10 to 12 consecutive hours) for many months, and some may take years. There’s no standard timeline, as with any developmental milestone, and some children respond well to various sleep training methods, while others do not.
It’s crucial to avoid feelings of guilt or self-blame; you are not doing anything wrong. Some children are simply late bloomers in the sleep department. Ultimately, all children do learn to sleep through the night, even if it takes longer than anticipated.
With the birth of my second child, I entered the experience with a clearer understanding of infant sleep. I embraced the challenges—even the sleepless nights—knowing they wouldn’t last forever. I allowed myself the freedom to indulge in quick meals like mac and cheese and seize any opportunity for a nap.
My second child, now 3.5 years old, still occasionally wakes to ask for a glass of water or random questions, but overall, he sleeps well. While I occasionally lie awake worrying about my children’s futures, I have come to accept that once you become a parent, sleepless nights become part of life. Yet, the rewards of parenthood—lovable, adorable children—make it all worthwhile.
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Summary:
The myth surrounding the ‘three-month mark’ for baby sleep can lead to unrealistic expectations for new parents. Sleep patterns vary greatly among infants, and many do not sleep through the night for several months or even years. It’s essential to understand that every child is different, and feelings of inadequacy should be avoided. As children grow, they eventually learn to sleep through the night.
Keyphrase: “three-month mark for baby sleep”
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