In today’s society, discussions about breastfeeding in public are quite prevalent. Opinions tend to categorize into three groups: 1) Only breastfeed in private; 2) Breastfeed publicly but with a cover; and 3) Breastfeed whenever and wherever necessary. I identify with the third group, but my actions often align more closely with the first. It’s not that I feel ashamed; rather, my primary objective is to nourish my child. Interestingly, I prefer to keep my breasts concealed just as much as many others do. After years of covering up, revealing myself in public feels counterintuitive. I certainly don’t want to elicit disgust from onlookers, especially regarding parts of my body that I typically keep private. Having dealt with body image issues during my teenage years, I’m not eager to face that scrutiny as an adult.
While volunteering for a school fundraiser for my daughter, I found myself retreating to my car to nurse my newborn son. I was uncomfortable nursing in front of my daughter’s friends and their parents—not because of their reactions, but due to my own comfort level. I doubt I could breastfeed publicly without attracting unwanted attention. I’ve observed how my breasts seem to become a focal point, much like the proverbial elephant in the room. I feel at ease breastfeeding around loved ones, those who won’t judge me. Do I wish for a more accepting society? Absolutely, but I’m not prepared to be the activist challenging societal norms regarding public breastfeeding.
My focus is on the precious bond shared during these nursing moments. Infancy is fleeting, and breastfeeding creates a unique connection between my child and me. If an observer cannot appreciate this intimate experience without judgment, I prefer to keep it private. It is unrealistic to expect infants, who are naturally curious and active, to remain covered with a blanket. I’ve even contemplated knitting a sort of “breast coozy,” similar to those used for drinks, since my breast gets cold when exposed. However, I doubt even that would satisfy the demands of critical onlookers.
I often hear activists encouraging mothers like me to breastfeed openly and not let judgment dictate our actions, emphasizing that normalizing breastfeeding is essential for societal change. Part of me yearns to be that person, yet I find myself preparing to feed my baby before going out to dinner with my family. As my baby grows increasingly fussy in the restaurant, I scan the room for potential judgmental stares. I wish for a secluded booth to avoid unwanted attention. Eventually, I return to the car for my nursing pillow, but by the time I get back, my baby has fallen asleep—relief washes over me.
Do I think our culture has overly sexualized breasts? It’s a complex issue. Breasts serve dual purposes: they are sexual organs and also essential for nurturing infants. This leads to a debate about their primary function. Shouldn’t we recognize that, in the context of breastfeeding, breasts should not be viewed as sexual objects? One of my favorite sculptures, found at the Our Lady of La Leche shrine in St. Augustine, Florida, depicts the Virgin Mary nursing baby Jesus. It raises questions about why public breastfeeding is often deemed offensive, considering that such an innocent figure is celebrated for this act.
When I witness another mother breastfeeding in public, I feel a sense of admiration. I want to approach her and express my gratitude for her comfort and presence. I engage with breastfeeding images online, capturing my own moments with my baby, but I share them selectively with close friends and family. As the breastfeeding mom who often seeks privacy in dressing rooms or my car, I prefer a calm environment to share these meals. Until society becomes more accepting, I’m not ready to make my nursing experiences a platform for activism. I appreciate those who are.
In conclusion, breastfeeding is a personal experience that can be influenced by societal norms and individual comfort levels. While I support the normalization of breastfeeding in public, I choose to prioritize my comfort and my child’s needs.
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