Each month, I gather with a wonderful group of women to discuss our latest book and share insights about our lives. We indulge in chocolate, sip on some wine, and reflect on the events that have unfolded since our last meeting.
In our most recent discussion, we touched on topics of beauty and body image—issues that resonate deeply with women. One of my friends, a teacher, recounted a concerning incident at her school. A group of first-grade girls, all gymnastics enthusiasts, decided to form a gymnastics club. Another girl, who didn’t take gymnastics but wanted to join, was told by one of the members that she needed to be skinny to participate. This comment wasn’t made with malice; it was a simple repetition of something the girl had heard from her coaches.
The excluded girl, who is not overweight but has a fuller figure typical of many children her age, went home and asked her thin mother how she could lose weight. This prompted her mom to address the issue with the school, puzzled as to why her daughter, at such a tender age, was focused on body image.
Children often don’t understand the implications of their words, but adults should. When a little girl hears she’s not thin enough to join a club, it sends a damaging message that can echo throughout her life. I know this from experience.
At six, my family struggled financially, yet my parents managed to enroll me in ballet classes. I was tall and a bit awkward—what my mother referred to as “big-boned.” In hindsight, I wasn’t overweight, but I was built differently than my peers. After a few months, my ballet instructor, a French ballerina, bluntly informed my mother that I would likely be too heavy for ballet and suggested she save her money.
While it’s true that certain body types may excel in specific sports, pushing young girls to prioritize thinness to fit into these molds is misguided. Children should be allowed to play freely, engaging in activities like gymnastics or ballet without feeling the pressure to alter their bodies.
I understand that coaches have competitive goals, and many genuinely care for their young athletes. However, the notion that a child’s body should be a basis for exclusion is unacceptable. Not all coaches are critical, and many provide the support that fosters self-esteem in young girls, which is essential. Yet until we can ensure that all coaches uphold this standard, we face a significant issue.
Throughout my adolescence and early adulthood, I struggled with body image, believing I had to be thin to be accepted and successful. While not all my insecurities can be traced to that ballet instructor, early negative comments about my body left a lasting impact. When we communicate to young girls that they aren’t thin enough to participate in activities, we risk exposing them to a lifetime of body image issues, including eating disorders, anxiety, and depression.
We need to stop telling girls they aren’t thin enough. We must eliminate the notion that only one body type is beautiful. It’s crucial to avoid planting seeds of body dissatisfaction in young minds before they even comprehend the concept of self-image.
Although I don’t have a daughter to reassure, if I did, I would tell her: You are beautiful just as you are. You are much more than your physical appearance. Don’t let anyone dictate what you can or cannot do based on how you look. You possess bravery, creativity, kindness, and strength—attributes that define your worth far beyond your body.
These are the affirmations I wish I had received.
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In summary, we need to change the narrative surrounding body image for young girls. By promoting body positivity and acceptance, we can help them grow into confident women, unburdened by societal standards that dictate beauty.
Keyphrase: messages to young girls about body image
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