“What’s on your mind, dear?”
I took a brief moment to consider how much to share. Ultimately, I replied with my usual response designed to keep things light. “Oh, not much,” I said, though that was hardly the full truth.
In reality, like many mothers, my thoughts are in constant motion. When my partner inquired, I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what I was thinking at that instant, but just moments before, my mind was racing with a myriad of thoughts.
What was it that occupied my mind? It was everything and nothing at once… I need to remember to buy more contact lenses before our trip on Monday. Did I pay the babysitter too much last week? My child isn’t getting enough greens. I missed that article deadline again. Should I talk to my doctor about my anxiety? Speaking of which, does my son need any vaccinations? I should definitely call the pediatrician; I think the preschool requires updated health records. Did I enroll him for next year? Oh, and he’s outgrown his school clothes.
And then there’s the laundry that I forgot to switch over to the dryer. Note to self: Look up baby-friendly vegetable recipes. Add those to the grocery list. Call the doctor. Contact the editor. And move that wash to the dryer—after checking its smell; it might need a second wash.
I miss my little one, too. I can’t wait to pick him up from the grandparents. I hope he’s having a good day.
That’s essentially what I shared when asked, just a tiny fraction of the mental weight I carry. It’s not that I can’t share these thoughts; I absolutely can. My partner is my confidant, and I know he would listen. But, this is the reality of what many refer to as “mom brain.”
This phenomenon is often termed the mental load, which helps explain why many mothers feel fatigued despite the fact that we often don’t seem to be doing much by outward appearances. For those juggling outside work, the weight of this mental load can feel even heavier.
When you ask a mother how she’s doing, you might hear the answer, “I’m tired.” This exhaustion often transcends mere sleep deprivation. While that can be a factor, there is a deeper, more complex exhaustion at play. As I engage with my partner about his day at work, my mind is still busy working through my own internal checklist.
Fellow mothers, you understand this, don’t you? If we don’t remember to transfer the laundry, who will? If we neglect to ensure our children eat their vegetables, they simply won’t. Appointments, refills, packing lists—all these tasks spin in our minds, forming an invisible yet impactful burden.
This mental load is not inherently negative, nor is it something we necessarily need to “fix.” However, acknowledging its existence can be a relief. It helps to realize that our fatigue is not just due to a lack of sleep, but rather a constant mental checklist playing on repeat.
Mothers, you are phenomenal. You are like that high-quality adhesive that, while invisible, holds everything together under immense pressure. Yet, we shouldn’t feel obligated to carry this burden alone. Perhaps the next time someone asks you what you’re thinking, you should share those thoughts. Lighten your load, even if just for a moment.
And if they respond with confusion, seek out another mother for understanding. We carry this invisible yet heavy burden together, so let’s be open and supportive of one another.
For more insights on parenting and emotional labor, check out our post on home insemination kits, and consider exploring couples’ fertility journeys as an authority on this topic. Additionally, a comprehensive resource for pregnancy and home insemination can be found at NICHD.
In summary, emotional labor plays a significant role in the exhaustion many mothers feel, often beyond just the lack of sleep. Recognizing this can foster understanding and support among parents, ultimately easing the mental load we carry.
Keyphrase: Emotional labor in mothers
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]