Dear Theme Days,
You have an uncanny ability to catch me off guard. Just when I think I can breathe easy, I discover a crumpled note in my child’s folder, nestled between the book order and the sign-up sheet for the school fair.
“Wednesday is Hawaiian Beach Day!
Thursday is Dress Like a Reading Superhero Day!
Monday is Pajamas Day!
Friday is Hat, Sunglasses, and an Article of Clothing in a Color That We Can Assure You Your Child Does Not Own Day!”
Upon reading that note, I genuinely consider my options. Perhaps I should find those sunglasses, despite it being the dead of winter. Maybe I should set a reminder for superhero day, as assembling a costume will surely take time. I should definitely ensure that my child’s only fitting pajamas—ones not resembling a rat’s chew toy—are clean.
The reality, however, is that I have a job, family commitments, friends, and a life that doesn’t revolve around your peculiar demands, Theme Day. Honestly, I’m just not that invested in you.
Then, unexpectedly, as I momentarily forget your existence, my child looks up from their breakfast and asks, “What should I wear for my superhero costume today, Mom? It needs to relate to a book we’re reading.”
And there you are in my kitchen, seemingly laughing at my plight. My partner suggests, “Why not just put him in a T-shirt with a superhero on it?” But I find myself digging through boxes in the basement, feeling the heat of panic rising. My child is distraught that their costume will be subpar, and I assure them, “No, it’s not lame! It’s going to be unique! Creative!”
In a frenzy, I cut uneven eyeholes in a bandana for a mask while safety-pinning felt to whatever I can find, searching for anything that might serve as a cape (yes, this sequined shawl will do). We’re both near tears, grasping for ideas.
“Mom, what about gloves? What about this stuffed snake I can wear?”
“Yes,” I reply, “Absolutely, it’s perfect.”
But deep down, we both know it’s not perfect. You and I understand that this costume’s inadequacies reflect my abilities as a parent—and somehow, my worth as a person—because we are still grappling with outdated notions of motherhood.
I thought I had escaped you while living abroad for a year, yet you tracked us down, making an appearance for Dress Up Like a Character From Your Favorite Fairy Tale Day. Seriously, Theme Day? Couldn’t you spare us one year?
For the record, the “wolf costume” made from a stained gray shirt and pants, topped with a brown scarf for a tail, was not my finest hour. You embarrassed me on an international stage, Theme Day, and I can’t forgive you for that.
I recognize that children enjoy you. My child looks forward to your arrival, breaking the monotony of the school routine. Perhaps you wouldn’t be necessary if education focused less on conformity and more on creativity. But here we are.
Despite my disdain for you, I still hustle to create a costume, even if it’s just 10 minutes before the bus arrives. Somehow, I manage to send my child off, beaming in their makeshift, book-themed superhero outfit, eager to share it with friends, even if the eyeholes in the mask are askew.
At this moment, I’m expected to gaze into those bright, appreciative eyes and declare it’s all worthwhile, retracting my previous harsh words about you, and promising to treat you with respect next time.
Instead, I’ll say this on behalf of all exhausted parents: Go away, Theme Day. Just go away.
In conclusion, while Theme Days may bring joy to children, they often induce stress and chaos for parents. Balancing creativity with everyday responsibilities is a challenge, and though we find ways to manage these days, it’s often at the cost of our sanity.
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Keyphrase: Theme Days in Schools
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