25 Reasons My Children Are Not Sleeping

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As a parent, it often seems like the only individuals in my home capable of sleep never actually do. When bedtime approaches, I’m not the one lingering around the house, slowly touching every surface in a desperate bid to delay sleep by a few more minutes. For me, turning in before 10 p.m. feels like hitting the jackpot—but not for my children. As bedtime nears, they experience a sudden burst of energy that rivals even the most powerful storm, sending toys flying and creating chaos until every surface is covered in plastic animals. Then, just as bedtime arrives, everything abruptly halts.

This is the eye of the storm—the brief moment of eerie calm where my kids seem to move in slow motion, almost regressing in time. Getting them upstairs is akin to herding cattle away from a lush pasture. After navigating the lengthy rituals of teeth brushing and bathroom trips, you’d think it’s time for sleep. But no. We plunge right back into the tempest, and my little ones are:

  1. Requesting water.
  2. Asking for a snack.
  3. Sneaking downstairs to hide beneath the table.
  4. Materializing at my bedside, poking my eye with their tiny fingers to check if I’m awake.
  5. Insisting on changing pajamas.
  6. Yelling “Mommy!” repeatedly until I finally trudge upstairs only to hear, “Hi.”
  7. Sneaking into each other’s rooms to check if their sibling is asleep.
  8. Reporting that their sibling is not asleep.
  9. Quietly entering the bedroom to join us in watching the news.
  10. Asking for more water.
  11. Proposing another bedtime story with the promise of chocolate.
  12. Claiming they need help using the bathroom, despite being capable for over two years.
  13. Choosing bedtime to recount every significant event of their lives thus far.
  14. Calling for Dad just to relay a message to come get me.
  15. Telling me not to leave because they have something important to say, which turns into a lengthy pause followed by, “What’s your favorite color?”
  16. Attempting to get their own water because they are thirsty—again.
  17. Requesting the toy from our zoo trip three summers ago.
  18. Crying when I refuse to search for the long-lost toy.
  19. Chatting excitedly while I rummage through bins looking for the elusive toy.
  20. Asking for yet another drink of water.
  21. Reminding me that “it’s four more sleeps until Friday,” when popcorn is allowed, and asking if we can call Grandma right now.
  22. Getting out of bed to search for the cats.
  23. Climbing into our bed and questioning why we are trying to sleep.
  24. Inquiring if they can play on the iPad.
  25. Declaring they don’t want to sleep because they aren’t tired.

Parents who’ve navigated the turbulent waters of toddler sleep insist that my children will eventually slumber—and so will I. I find it hard to believe. After surviving the newborn phase, sickness, teething, and nightmares, I thought we’d be nearing the end of sleepless nights. It feels like we are still several years away—perhaps even beyond that. I haven’t completely lost hope, but at this point, the odds of winning the lottery seem more favorable. Now, if you’ll excuse me, someone is eager to discover my favorite color.

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Summary:

Bedtime can become a chaotic event for parents, with children exhibiting behaviors that delay sleep. From constant requests for snacks and drinks to sneaking around the house, the journey to a peaceful night can feel endless. However, as many parents attest, this phase is temporary, and sleep will eventually return to both children and parents.

Keyphrase: Reasons My Children Are Not Sleeping

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