This Valentine’s Day, my partner and I opted for a casual pizza outing. As we settled our little one into the highchair at our booth, we exchanged knowing glances and chuckled about the romance we were likely missing out on. While many of our friends were dining at upscale restaurants, we chose to embrace our family time instead.
Bringing our child along for our Valentine’s celebration might raise some eyebrows, but it felt completely natural to us. In the past year, we’ve only gone out without our son on two occasions, and surprisingly, we’re quite comfortable with our dateless lifestyle.
Before our child arrived, we were often advised by well-meaning relatives and seasoned parents that maintaining a regular date night should be a top priority after becoming parents. We were encouraged to find a reliable babysitter, designate one night every other week, dress up, and escape the house. The notion was that this time away was crucial to preserving our relationship amid the chaos of parenting.
Initially, I was enthusiastic about this idea. We selected Thursdays for our date nights, planning to start once our son turned one month old. I even picked out a flattering black dress for our first outing.
However, my son’s arrival in January turned our lives upside down. It wasn’t until May that we remembered our date night plans. Although we anticipated enjoying some time out, my son was still nursing frequently, and our evenings were consumed by his needs. Ultimately, we decided to postpone our date nights. I felt a twinge of disappointment, but to my surprise, our marriage remained strong despite our lack of outings.
By fall, my son had reduced his nursing sessions, but we had developed a comforting bedtime routine filled with stories, baths, and cuddles. My husband and I were committed to gentle parenting and didn’t want to leave our son alone at bedtime, so we delayed date nights even further. While I was eager for some one-on-one time, I was relieved to see that our relationship was still thriving.
By the time my son turned one, he was nursing only a few times each day and was able to settle down for bed independently. He had become an absolutely delightful little boy—curious, affectionate, and ever-evolving. The thought of missing an evening with him felt unbearable. I worried about the impact on our marriage, but my partner reassured me he felt just as content with our current arrangement.
Now at two years old, our son continues to be a joy, and my partner and I still prioritize our time together as a family. As working parents, we spend all day apart from him and cherish the evenings we have together. I hold no resentment toward those who commit to regular date nights; what works for them is valid. I simply wish more people understood that a happy marriage doesn’t necessitate formal date nights.
We enjoy family dinners nightly, and once our son is asleep, we often spend our evenings talking, playing games, or watching movies—albeit in our pajamas. Quality time is still quality time, regardless of the setting. There are numerous ways to nurture a marriage, and for couples like us who prefer to spend time as a family, happiness is achievable without a designated date night.
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In summary, while the conventional wisdom advocates for regular date nights to keep relationships strong, it’s entirely possible to maintain a fulfilling marriage without them. Prioritizing family time can be equally rewarding and does not detract from the bond between partners.
Keyphrase: “Date nights are not essential for a happy marriage”
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