Dear Emily,
Before you entered this world, I had yet to comprehend the profound nature of love. I didn’t realize it was akin to the universe—expansive and full of mysteries yet to be uncovered. While my heart remains the same, the love within it has grown immensely, much like the universe itself. Becoming your mother taught me how to embrace the vast, beautiful weight of that love.
Love is holding you for the first time, overwhelmed with emotion and tears that carry countless meanings. It’s the struggle against fatigue, the deep-rooted instinct to comfort you in the dark hours of the night. It’s the gentle caress of your hair as we share whispers before sleep. I cherish these peaceful moments, knowing they are fleeting. In the morning, you may stomp about, exasperated over a missing favorite shirt, demanding to know why the laundry wasn’t done. I could rattle off a million reasons or suggest you manage your own laundry, but I’d rather avoid conflict. So, I quietly vent my frustration while preparing your favorite sandwich—peanut butter, honey, and banana on whole wheat. Sometimes, love is expressed without words.
I understand that being 13 can be challenging. It often seems that your worth is determined by your appearance, possessions, or social media followers. These are fleeting measures, like a brilliant flash of lightning—impressive but momentary. Real growth will come from deeper experiences and conversations that shape who you are. Ultimately, your identity will be defined by your words, actions, and the way you treat others.
There’s a distinction between loving someone and being in love, and you will recognize this feeling when it comes. It’s akin to soaring through the sky without wings, like being in a dream where you possess wondrous powers. Your love may not always be reciprocated, leading to heartache and solitude—until you learn the importance of self-love. Embrace your individuality, stand firm in your beliefs, and cultivate kindness for both yourself and others. This is a lifelong journey that requires practice, and I am continually navigating it too.
Though love may fade at times, it never truly disappears from your heart. Preserve even the remnants of past love, as they can hold value. I still think back to my high school sweetheart, who would meet me by my locker, and I remember those moments with fondness, mingled with the inevitable bittersweet memories. It’s perfectly fine to acknowledge regret and pain, as they are part of your journey. Be cautious not to confuse infatuation with love, although you may find yourself doing so. Each relationship teaches you something valuable, but never confuse love with any form of abuse—pain has no place in true love.
Your first love, whether for a person, a book, or a band, will always be special. Just as U2 represents my youth, I know 5 Seconds of Summer holds that same significance for you. The Mists of Avalon was my defining read, just as Divergent may be for you. Your capacity to love will evolve, sometimes overwhelming and other times leaving you questioning its significance. Find joy in the little things, like a raindrop hanging delicately from a budding cherry blossom, and share those moments with others. Expressing love is vital.
As you continue to mature, my love adapts alongside you. It can be a challenge to watch you navigate away from me. Some days, this means rebellion and frustration, while other days, it signifies independence and decision-making. The love that once held us tightly now embraces the growing space between us, and although you are moving forward, my love will always remain a part of you. When the time comes for you to leave home, I’ll hold close to the wisdom of Sting: if you love someone, set them free, but carry my love with you always.
In closing, remember that love is a journey—filled with twists and turns, lessons and growth.
For an insightful exploration of family-building options, I recommend visiting Resolve to deepen your understanding of what lies ahead. Also, for more information on home insemination kits, check out Make a Mom for resources to aid your journey.
With all my love,
Mom