Everyone encounters individuals in their lives who require constant justification for their actions. You might say, “He usually isn’t like this,” or “You’ll see he’s really fun once you get to know him.” Over time, however, these disclaimers can accumulate, leading to the realization that the individual in question may need to take some responsibility for their behavior.
Recently, I’ve found myself feeling this way about my son, Leo. Admittedly, he can be quite challenging to be around at times. While he has his moments of joy, the past few months have been particularly difficult, as he navigates the complexities of his developmental stage known as the “terrible twos.”
In the past, when Leo would misbehave at social gatherings, I would find myself quickly offering excuses for his behavior: “He skipped his nap,” “He’s teething,” “He’s just hungry,” or “The lights are too bright for him.” However, I’ve reached a point where I feel it’s time to hold Leo accountable for his actions. Although it’s essential to understand that toddlers are still developing emotionally, it’s also crucial not to make endless justifications for their behavior.
The other day, while at a local bar with friends, my partner, Sarah, arrived with Leo in tow. He had not yet met everyone at the table, but generally, he warms up quickly. Unfortunately, he seemed to be fully embracing his current phase of defiance. After hiding behind Sarah for a few moments, he began to scream whenever someone looked his way. Instead of attempting to soften the situation with an excuse, I simply stated, “Don’t mind him; screaming is his default mode right now. He’s just being a little difficult.”
This shift in perspective has been liberating. While I still maintain a responsibility for guiding Leo’s behavior, I recognize that he is an individual making choices. It’s important to acknowledge that not every action he takes is a reflection of my parenting. He is at a stage where he is learning about social interactions, and it’s vital for him to understand the consequences of his actions.
As parents, we must balance accountability without excusing unacceptable behavior. Although the terrible twos can feel overwhelming, it’s a common phase that all parents encounter, regardless of their parenting style. We must weather this storm while also ensuring our children are aware of how their actions affect others. If Leo continues down this path, he risks developing a reputation that could make social engagements difficult in the future.
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In summary, while it’s crucial to support our children through their developmental milestones, it’s equally important to hold them accountable for their actions. By doing so, we not only help them grow but also maintain our own sanity in the process.
Keyphrase: Toddler behavior management
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