“How urgent is this?” I ask, feeling the harsh glare of the overhead light. The dentist pauses, turning off the bright light before responding. “It’s critical. If the infection spreads to your jaw, it could lead to an abscess.” Her serious expression leaves no room for discussion.
I grip the armrests tightly, my muscles still tense from the dental instruments at work. Later that evening, I find myself searching “abscessed tooth” online, an experience I do not recommend unless you enjoy unsettling dental imagery.
“What are my options?” I inquire.
“You’ll need a root canal to address the infection, which has been developing for the past six to nine months,” she informs me, showing an x-ray that reveals nothing significant to my untrained eye. Despite my skepticism, I acknowledge the necessity of returning for the procedure.
Why did I postpone visiting the dentist for over a year? Given my history with dental issues, this was an unwise choice, and the infection could have had severe consequences. I can’t blame my lack of insurance; our coverage is adequate. The truth is, I allowed one excuse to overshadow my self-care: “You know how easy it is to neglect your own needs while focusing on your child,” a friend remarked over coffee. I couldn’t help but agree.
As I pondered her words, I recognized the stark contrast between the care I provide for my 18-month-old daughter, Ava, and my own self-care standards. I meticulously prepare her nutritious meals while I often grab fast food. She sleeps soundly, while I struggle to find rest. My version of self-care typically involves a late-night binge of streaming shows rather than any meaningful rejuvenation.
For parents of young children, prioritizing self-care becomes a challenge. We often struggle to complete simple tasks like showering or eating a full meal, let alone find time for our own well-being. The hope of consistent sleep faded long ago. If you mention self-care to a parent of a small child, be prepared for a look of annoyance; we’re often too sleep-deprived to entertain such discussions.
Ava has become my perfect excuse for neglecting my dental health. That year I ignored my dental problems, I was immersed in diapers, late-night feedings, and coaxing her to sleep. Caring for her seemed to justify my neglect of my own needs, but deep down, I recognize this as a false justification. My conscience reminds me that neglecting my health does not serve anyone, least of all my daughter.
I find myself questioning which is more beneficial: a parent who fixates solely on their child’s routine while disregarding their own well-being, or a parent who practices self-care and provides a positive example for their child? I believe the latter is the wiser choice.
How we model self-care teaches our children valuable lessons about caring for themselves. In the early years, we might focus heavily on our child’s diet and behavior while neglecting our own needs. However, as they grow, they will become acutely aware of how we care for ourselves and will emulate our habits. I don’t wish to instill unrealistic standards in my child while neglecting my own health; I want Ava to see someone who values and prioritizes their own well-being.
What will Ava observe? This question resonates with me. The reality is that children are always watching. Ava, at just 18 months, already mimics my behavior with technology. It’s both amusing and alarming to see her pretend to drink coffee after watching me do the same.
As I strive to be more mindful in my time with Ava, I recognize that perfection in parenting is not my aim. This piece is not intended to induce guilt but to remind us that parenting is a two-way relationship. Our children reflect back the areas in our lives that need attention, and it’s vital we acknowledge this mirror.
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In summary, prioritizing self-care is essential not only for our own health but also for modeling healthy habits for our children. By taking care of ourselves, we lay the foundation for our children to learn the importance of self-care in their own lives.
Keyphrase: mindful parenting and self-care
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