Public Service Announcement: If you find yourself in a psychological study where a “teacher” instructs you to administer escalating shocks for incorrect answers, brace yourself; things are about to heat up.
I have to admit, I used to have an almost blind respect for authority figures. If you wore a white coat, I was all in for that full course of antibiotics. Have a wall full of diplomas? You must be the ultimate authority, and I’ll follow your “Perfect Kids in 9 Seconds” plan right away! (Spoiler alert: I’ve published a few pieces myself; turns out anyone can be in books.)
However, growing older has brought me a newfound confidence. I’m more inclined to trust my instincts, do my own research, and stand my ground when an “expert” offers advice that doesn’t sit well with me. Unfortunately, the internet seems determined to tell me what I should be doing, and frankly, I’ve had enough! Here are nine bits of unsolicited advice I wish would just stop:
- Stop Eating These [Insert Any Five Foods That Are Remotely Satisfying] Unless You Want to Be Fat and Miserable
Seeing these foods pop up in my newsfeed every 37 minutes isn’t helping me break any habits. - Wrap It!
I’m referring to food here. I’ve seen the amazing transformations, but until someone invents a system that wraps itself around my mouth, I’m afraid these thighs are here to stay. - Drink Water Packed With Fruit
Do you know how long it takes to cut up enough fruit? And who wants to lug around an enormous mason jar full of mushy fruit they can’t eat? - Get More Sleep
Well, obviously! With my kids no longer little, we can’t stick to the rigid dinner-bath-bed schedule. Between activities, homework, and family time, going to bed earlier would mean I’m on my 12-year-olds’ schedule. Talk about lame! - Drink Wine
I don’t like wine—never have, never will. So please stop telling me it will cure every ailment known to man. If you have good things to say about whiskey, however, I’m interested. - Stop Using K-Cups
I do my part for the environment, so can’t I have the convenience of coffee that brews itself in 30 seconds? And now I’m guilty about switching to a reusable K-Cup? Come on! - Throw Out Everything in My Pantry Because My Food Is Killing Me
I’ve survived 41 years; I know how to read labels and understand food politics. Not everything is a conspiracy to make me sick. - Buy Pretty Jewelry
I can get several pairs of earrings for a fraction of the price at Target. Sure, they might turn my earlobes a bit dark, but I consider that a fashion statement! - Worry About My Kid’s Self-Esteem
Have you ever interacted with a 12-year-old boy? They think they’re winning at life and are always right. I’m more concerned with teaching responsibility than coddling fragile egos.
So, dear internet, I’m declaring myself the expert in my own life. Your advice doesn’t hold much weight with me.
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In summary, while unsolicited advice can be overwhelming, it’s essential to trust your own judgment and experiences. Embrace your expertise in your life decisions, especially concerning parenting, health, and personal choices.
Keyphrase: unsolicited parenting advice
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