There Is No “We” in Pregnancy

pregnant woman throwing toddler in the air sitting by a treehome insemination kit

The other evening, I overheard a man exclaim, “We are pregnant,” and I felt a surge of irritation wash over me. My face flushed, and I could feel the heat rising within as memories flooded back of the times I heard “we” and “our” during my own pregnancy. The truth is, in my experience, pregnancy is a solo journey for the woman involved.

I truly respect those who feel their partner shares in the pregnancy experience, and I can’t help but feel a tinge of envy at that. I wish the phrase “we” didn’t trigger such strong emotions in me, especially considering the stress it may cause for both me and my baby. Nevertheless, my feelings are my own.

Let’s be honest: when a woman’s husband is undergoing a vasectomy, does she say “we are having a vasectomy”? Absolutely not! He is the one getting the procedure, not them as a couple.

This realization hit me one night at the dinner table when my husband shared with his coworkers that “we are pregnant.” At that point, my clothes had stopped fitting—not in the cute, baby-bump way, but rather in an uncomfortable, tight manner. I was dealing with constant nausea and other discomforts that were very much mine alone.

As I sat there, eating my familiar three-times-a-week Velveeta macaroni and cheese, I gently reminded him that the only “we” in our pregnancy was when we decided to conceive. He chuckled, likely thinking I was joking. But over the months that followed, the word “we” continued to surface, eliciting reactions from me that ranged from sarcastic quips to tears.

Here are ten reasons why the phrase “we are pregnant” does not apply:

  1. It wasn’t “WE” who had to abstain from alcohol; that was solely my struggle.
  2. “WE” did not break down in tears over the last drumstick in the freezer—yep, just me.
  3. Six months in, “WE” were not the ones who split the seam of my favorite pajama pants.
  4. “WE” did not spend sleepless nights rushing to the bathroom repeatedly—that was my reality.
  5. “WE” did not endure invasive exams where the doctor’s idea of “a little pressure” was far from accurate.
  6. “WE” did not experience temperature swings severe enough to induce sweating.
  7. “WE” did not dread social situations due to unpredictable gas—only me!
  8. “WE” did not witness a birth experience that could be likened to a horror film; I lived it while he observed.
  9. “WE” did not push out what felt like a watermelon through an opening that once was the size of a grape.
  10. Finally, “WE” did not watch as my breasts transformed into what could only be described as deflated raisins.

While we now share a baby, it’s important to recognize that I was the one who carried the pregnancy.

For those considering their own journey into parenthood, resources like this fertility booster may provide valuable support. Additionally, this intracervical insemination syringe kit can be an essential tool for home insemination. For further information on intrauterine insemination, refer to the Mayo Clinic’s comprehensive guide.

In summary, while pregnancy is often viewed as a shared experience, the reality for many women is that they bear the brunt of the physical challenges alone. Understanding this distinction can foster better communication and empathy in relationships during this transformative time.

Keyphrase: “the experience of pregnancy”

Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]

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