At first glance, I might fit the mold of a typical stay-at-home mom (SAHM). I care for my two young sons (ages 4 and 1), do not hold a job outside the home, and manage all the household responsibilities that come with adult life. I even bake a fair number of delightful cupcakes.
I genuinely appreciate my role in the family. I love spending time with my children and maintaining a clean, safe home, and I actually enjoy grocery shopping. However, I also identify as a feminist, and I recognize the subtle messages my boys receive when they see their father heading off to work while I remain at home engaging in crafts and storytelling. Although I have chosen this SAHM lifestyle for now, it is vital for me that they understand the significance of my choice.
So, how can I instill values of equality and challenge gender stereotypes in my sons while they observe their mother at home and their father in an office setting?
1. Involve the Boys in Household Tasks
My daily activities include numerous chores and errands, and thankfully, my children can assist with many of these tasks. I believe in assigning age-appropriate responsibilities around the house. While I fold laundry, wash dishes, or dust shelves, I invite my oldest son to join me. Sometimes he resists, or his assistance may slow me down, but I insist on his participation. Additionally, I ensure that they help their father with tasks he typically handles, such as cooking and vacuuming.
2. Be Mindful of My Language
When tempted to ask my partner if he can “watch the kids while I run out,” or to grumble about a messy floor while grabbing the broom, I remind myself that my son is observing and absorbing my words. Given that I spend most of my time with him, it’s easy to overlook the impact of my language. Thus, I strive to communicate with my husband as the active caregiver he is, and I avoid framing housework or childcare as burdensome responsibilities that I must endure as a SAHM.
3. Educate Them on Feminism
With my background in education as a former elementary school teacher, I value direct discussions about complex topics. While social-emotional learning can be challenging, it is rewarding to see its positive outcomes. I apply the same principle to conversations about human rights, addressing issues like inequality and oppression, including discussions about feminist figures (with age-appropriateness in mind). My goal is to equip my children with the tools to question societal norms rather than passively accept them.
4. Use Storytelling as a Teaching Tool
Storytelling is inherently beneficial for children, so I incorporate subtle lessons into the tales I share. I craft stories featuring a diverse array of characters, including fathers who stay at home, female construction workers, and brave princesses who fight dragons. This creative approach allows me to explore various characters and adventures while embedding important values.
5. Challenge Generalizations
My oldest son enjoys creating “rules” about the world, such as, “Mommy looks like this, so all girls must look like this.” When he makes sweeping generalizations, I quickly counter them with examples that defy the norms. For instance, if he asks, “Do only dads do computer programming?” I respond with “No,” and share stories of women who excel in coding and technology, just like his father.
6. Engage a Support Network
It’s essential to involve other adults and mentors, such as teenagers and older siblings, in ongoing discussions about gender equality and stereotypes. This collaborative effort benefits not only the children but also the adults participating in the conversation.
While parenting comes with no guarantees, we all strive to do our best with what we have. Even though I have chosen to be a SAHM, I hope to foster a mindset in my sons that rejects the notion of roles determined solely by gender. For additional insights on at-home insemination, you can check out this at-home insemination kit, which provides useful information on family planning and fertility. Additionally, you may find valuable resources regarding in vitro fertilisation to enhance your understanding. If you are interested in boosting fertility, consider exploring fertility supplements as well.
In summary, stay-at-home moms can play a crucial role in raising sons who respect gender equality. By actively engaging them in household chores, modeling positive language, teaching about feminism, using storytelling, challenging stereotypes, and involving a support network, we can help shape their understanding of gender roles and equality in a meaningful way.
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