Updated: March 12, 2021
As I lie here, battling the aftermath of a stomach bug, I reflect on the chaos that ensued. The night was long and filled with discomfort, and my disdain for these viral invaders runs deep. In fact, I have an unpublished manuscript where I dedicate multiple chapters to my loathing for the stomach bug. Initially, when I pitched my work to a publisher, I described my target audience as “moms who dread the stomach bug.” Unsurprisingly, they weren’t interested, which is just as well. There seems to be little demand for literature on the subject of “vomit aversion.”
Now, however, I find myself in a dire situation, compelled to speak out. Just the mention of a stomach bug sends me into a frenzy, akin to a scene from a wartime film. When my child’s daycare called to inform me of a vomiting incident, I reacted as if I had received tragic news. The poor staff member on the other end attempted to console me, but I suspect they’ll think twice before breaking such news to me alone in the future.
As I rest in bed, my household crumbles around me. My partner, Mark, is a true marvel—capable of handling everything from work responsibilities to childcare. Yet, he cannot see all that I do. The children keep infiltrating my sanctuary, and I hear one exclaim, “You can’t go back in there! Mom is really sick!” Alas, I lack the energy to rise and reprimand them, nor do I have the strength to explain my condition.
Dirty laundry is piling high, children are wailing, and nausea clings to me like a shadow. And to the average family out there, I lay the blame. You know who you are. One or two of you were up all night with the bug, yet you still ventured out, attending social events and potlucks. You appeared pale and unwell, yet insisted on bringing your questionable dishes. The moment you mentioned your family’s illness, my instincts screamed at me to flee.
If I were more confrontational, I might have confronted you directly. Instead, I gathered my children and made a hasty exit, abandoning my casserole—now a potential biohazard. My husband, Mark, didn’t need to be told twice; he understood the urgency in my tone. The chaos unfolded swiftly, as we made our escape with a sense of impending doom hanging over us.
Unfortunately, the spores had already infiltrated our defenses. By day four, I succumbed to the illness. From my bedridden state, I grapple with my faith and my resentment towards those who unknowingly spread this virus. Allow me to impart this essential message: If you’ve been up all night vomiting, please stay home. Communicate this through text, email, or even a carrier pigeon, but do not share it in person. The world will continue without your presence, and your absence will not be missed.
I will recover, eventually sipping on medication while I rest. As I heal, my perspective may shift, moving from resentment to understanding. There will be a time before the stomach bug and a time after. For now, I will focus on the mundane tasks awaiting me and long for the days of health and normalcy.
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Summary
In times of illness, especially with stomach bugs, it’s crucial to prioritize health and avoid public spaces. This article details the chaos that ensues when one family spreads illness unknowingly and emphasizes the importance of staying home when unwell. Additionally, it provides valuable resources for those interested in home insemination.
Keyphrase: stomach bug awareness
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]