Dear Alex,
I hope it’s alright if I address you informally.
First, I owe you an apology. After watching your recent film, I finally understood the purpose behind that intriguing hairstyle choice. The rugged appearance had me a bit concerned, but I should have trusted your vision. I apologize for my momentary doubt, and I now find your taste in partners makes a bit more sense.
However, I’m not just here to seek a date for the Oscars. Okay, fine, that is part of my intention, but let’s be realistic—you’ll most likely be attending with your mother, and rightfully so! She deserves that honor, having brought you into this world. I’m merely suggesting an alternative option.
Now, you might be wondering why you’d consider a woman who’s writing you an open invite. Well, first off, I assure you, I’m quite sane. I’m on track to finish my master’s degree in family therapy this May, and we all know that crazy people don’t typically pursue advanced degrees.
While I may not be a model, I do share one trait—I’m blonde. And although I’m 33, people often mistake me for being much younger. It’s amusing because I once thought you were too old for me back in the day, but now that gap seems trivial.
Yes, I’m a fan, but not in a stalkerish way. I just haven’t had the chance to catch all your films. I never finished “The Aviator” because I struggled with the lead actress. I’m sorry about that.
Reasons Why I Would Make a Fantastic Oscars Date
- We both appreciate hip-hop. Learning that Kanye West performed at your birthday party made my day!
- You enjoy dancing, as evidenced by your Coachella video. I’d happily show you some moves at the Vanity Fair party.
- My lucky number is 11, just like your birthday. What are the odds?
- I hail from the same hometown as your friend, so it’s like a hidden connection.
- I once had the chance to become a child actor—imagine the stories we could share!
On a more serious note, this is a significant moment for you. The challenges you’ve faced in your career have led you here, and this role is undoubtedly a highlight in your journey. I’d love to be there to support you and even help drown out any distracting noise during your moment of glory.
In all honesty, it doesn’t necessarily have to be the Oscars. I’d be just as content sharing a moment at the grocery store. I’m just a California girl, a wife, and a mother who has worked hard to get to where I am. But more than that, I admire your commitment to important causes and the way you use your platform for good.
So, if you’re open to it, perhaps consider taking me to the Oscars—or at least check out some of our articles on home insemination, such as this one. You might also find valuable insights at this resource for pregnancy and home insemination.
To sum it up, I’m just a fun-loving person who’d love to share a memorable experience with you.
Best,
Jordan