In my parenting journey, I’ve noticed a significant difference in how people respond to my children’s tumbles. When my son fell as a child, the encouragement was clear: “Get up! Dust yourself off!” However, when my daughter experiences a fall, the reaction is often one of concern. People rush to her side, eager to comfort her.
My daughter started walking at just 9 months old and has since demonstrated impressive agility—she recently scaled a small rock wall at the park. With her speed comes the occasional fall, whether it’s tripping over her own feet or an object left behind by her brother. While I do my best to keep her safe, I recognize that falls are an inevitable part of her growth and development.
I always stay close when she’s playing, but I don’t rush to her every time she stumbles. If she’s not significantly hurt, I simply encourage her, saying, “You’re okay! Get back up!” More often than not, she does just that. This approach has led me to observe how differently people react to her falls compared to her brother’s.
Just recently, at a neighborhood block party, a woman expressed her anxiety about my daughter’s falls. During a visit to a friend’s yard, onlookers hurried to catch her before she hit the grass, while a family member shouted at me to intervene when she stumbled within their home. At a birthday party, a guest instinctively reached out to prevent her from falling over a door jam.
Lessons I Want My Daughter to Learn
These reactions prompted me to reflect on the lessons I want my daughter to learn as she grows:
- She is Just as Brave as Her Brother: In my family, my older brother was often seen as the protector. I want my daughter to understand that bravery is not limited to boys. She is strong and courageous in her own right.
- Life Isn’t Always Fair: While I wish I could shield her from pain, it’s essential for her to learn that life can be challenging. Resilience is vital; she will encounter setbacks, but learning to rise again is what makes her unstoppable.
- Independence is Key: Although it’s hard to fathom, there will come a time when she ventures out on her own. I want her to learn independence gradually, starting from her early years, so she can feel secure when I am not right beside her.
- Value of Falling and Failing: Experiencing setbacks teaches us the significance of our successes. Each fall is an opportunity for growth, and I want her to appreciate her achievements all the more.
- It’s Okay to Cry, but Not Always Necessary: My daughter comes from a lineage of emotional individuals. While I recognize the value of expressing emotions, I want her to understand that minor disappointments don’t always warrant overwhelming feelings.
- Self-Worth Beyond Appearance: The reactions to her falls often stem from a desire to keep her clean and unblemished. I want her to know that her value is not tied to her looks or the state of her clothing.
At this young age, all I want to do is scoop her up and comfort her after every fall. However, it’s crucial for her development that she learns how to rise again—both literally and metaphorically. While I will always be there for her when she genuinely needs me, I aim to instill in her the strength to recover independently. Each time she gets back up, I hope she realizes her innate bravery. There will come a day when she will face the world without me, and I want her to be prepared.
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In summary, allowing my daughter to pick herself up is a vital part of her development. It teaches her resilience, independence, and the understanding that life comes with its challenges. While my instinct is to protect her, I recognize the importance of fostering her strength and bravery.
Keyphrase: Allowing My Daughter to Pick Herself Up
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