You Don’t Need to Apologize: A Letter to a Mother from Her Childless Friend

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Dear Mom Friends,

I recognize that your responsibilities are considerable. The transition into motherhood has undoubtedly transformed your life in many ways. It’s common to feel overwhelmed and guilty for not being able to manage everything perfectly. However, I want to assure you that you don’t need to add me to the list of things that induce guilt—I care for you too much to allow that.

I’ve noticed your inclination to apologize when your child interrupts our conversation for the umpteenth time or when your toddler urgently needs to use the bathroom. I see the guilt on your face when your baby is fussing, and I know you wonder if I’m truly okay with waiting while you attend to your little ones. It’s likely that you feel bad when it takes you hours, days, or even weeks to respond to my texts or calls. I understand because I’ve heard you express it.

But let me be clear: you have nothing to apologize for. Your children are simply being children. Babies cry, toddlers have accidents, and kids require routines. That’s just the rhythm of life.

As your friend, I want to be part of your journey. Your children are a significant part of your life, and embracing your role as a mother makes me appreciate you even more. Whether we were friends during our carefree sleepovers or now, as you navigate parenting, I am here for you. If our shared moments used to revolve around wine and discussions, I am equally happy to enjoy simple gatherings at your home or the park, even when your kids interrupt our conversation every few minutes.

Please allow yourself some grace. It’s perfectly normal that your children won’t always behave like perfect angels. The toys may be scattered across the floor, and laundry may be piling up. I’m more than willing to play with your kids or help tidy up. After all, we have always helped each other, whether it was with homework or holiday shopping. Honestly, I consider it good practice for my future parenting endeavors.

I have never expected you to be perfect, and I still don’t. I can embrace the chaos that surrounds you, just as I have my own form of chaos, albeit without the little ones.

I genuinely care about you and your life, even if it differs from mine. Let’s walk this journey together, no matter how it looks right now.

So, dear friend, there’s no need to apologize. The only thing you owe me is to check in on how I’m doing, just as I do for you. And if my updates are interrupted multiple times by your little ones, that’s perfectly fine with me.

Warmly,
Your Childless Friend

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In summary, you are not alone in this journey of motherhood. Embrace the chaos without guilt, and know that your friends are here to support you through it all.

Keyphrase: You Don’t Need to Apologize

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