When I first met my husband, he resided in a meticulously organized one-bedroom apartment. So immaculate was his space that I suspected he might be a minimalist. However, I was misled; I hadn’t yet discovered his storage unit, and little did I know what I was signing up for!
There were subtle indicators of his pack rat tendencies, such as a prom mug from two decades ago, which he used to house a collection of cheap trade show pens on his desk. I overlooked these signs, as I too have a tendency to hang onto items. I admit that I have left tags on clothes I deemed “too good to wear,” allowing them to languish in my closet for years. My basement houses scented candles that have been aging since who-knows-when. I even understand the urge to keep protective plastic on a new cell phone for a few months to maintain its pristine appearance.
While I would classify myself as bordering on obsessive-compulsive—someone who appreciates preserving high-quality items—my husband appears to suffer from a different affliction: “Save Everything From Your Entire Life Because You Might Need It Disease.” We haven’t reached the levels seen in television hoarding shows, but his love for gadgets means we have multiples of nearly everything. For instance, we own a shop vacuum, a car vacuum, a handheld vacuum, and a robot vacuum, along with several other models that have since broken and are kept for parts. My current vacuum was an infomercial purchase made during one of his flights, as he believed I would appreciate the numerous attachments.
We have an array of air compressors tailored for different purposes: one for bicycles, one for car tires, and another for inflating a camping air mattress we plan to use one day—once we buy a tent. The closet contains stacks of V-neck sweaters that he never wears, but they remain because they were gifts from his mother.
And then there are the wires. I should have known better when I glimpsed his high school yearbook and saw his senior quote: “I dream of someday building a supercomputer.” Wires are strewn about—overflowing boxes in the home office, crammed into glove compartments of our vehicles, stuffed into junk drawers, and piled high in plastic bins in the garage. They have accompanied us through seven moves, various storage units, and even a cross-country relocation.
USB cables of every variety, outdated chargers, numerous extension cords, and broken Christmas lights are just a few of the items in our collection. I’ve tried, unsuccessfully, to declutter these wires multiple times. I leave small piles on his nightstand and beside the sink where he shaves in the morning, asking, “Do you use these? Do you need these?” My household motto is, “If it doesn’t have a name, it’s fair game—going, going, gone!” Yet, I’m met with the response, “Yes, that’s a D2345699 coaxial cable. It’s essential to keep around.”
Essential? I see him tinkering with them, climbing into the attic with rolls of wires, drilling holes in walls, and rigging various devices. The thermostat is linked to a laptop, which connects to a router and presumably to a cloud—via wires, of course.
Just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, he introduced his collection of miniature drones. After surviving his model airplane phase, I was faced with transmitters and chargers monopolizing every outlet in the house. One more quadrocopter hovering over my head, and I might just snap and toss it out the window! But he’ll likely just retrieve one of the countless tiny wrenches littering the garage to fix it.
And if you ever need a fan, we’ve got you covered. From oscillating fans to box fans and everything in between, the pack rat certainly loves his fans.
On the bright side, if an apocalypse were to strike, we would be well-equipped to endure—until the power goes out. But mentioning that possibility might prompt him to stock up on generators and battery-operated devices.
For those seeking resources on home insemination, I recommend exploring this guide for a comprehensive overview. For more specialized needs, this 21-piece kit serves as a reliable option. Additionally, ACOG provides excellent information on treating infertility, which can be beneficial for couples looking to expand their families.
In summary, while living with a pack rat can be challenging, it also presents unique and amusing situations. Embracing the quirks that come with such a personality can lead to unexpected joys, as well as valuable life lessons about letting go—or not.
Keyphrase: “living with a pack rat”
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]