If You Understand It, You Share It

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As a parent, there comes a time when your child will inevitably ask those big questions—especially about sex. I had been cautioned by others that this moment would arrive, and I needed to be ready. Little did I know, it would happen in a dark car on the way home from dinner with my family: my son initiated a significant conversation that I will not soon forget.

The evening commenced in a typically cheerful fashion. After attending a family event, my spouse and I decided to take our children out to eat at one of our favorite spots—a setting where we could enjoy martinis while the kids indulged in fried food and dessert. The atmosphere was lively, filled with laughter, warmth, and camaraderie. I was blissfully unaware that my son had pressing questions on his mind, and he intended to address them during our drive home.

We had taken two cars, and my son chose to ride with me. In hindsight, this should have raised a flag. Moments after pulling away from the curb, he dropped a startling revelation: a sexting incident had unfolded at school, and it troubled him deeply. Let me clarify—my twelve-year-old son was grappling with the fallout from a sexting scandal. Twelve. As in, still a few years shy of being a teenager.

Thankfully, he was not directly involved, but he expressed concern over the repercussions faced by those affected and pondered the reasons behind such behaviors. His mind was racing with heavy subjects, and he sought clarity from me while I was driving—alone, in the dark, and without my partner as a sounding board.

Truth be told, I felt blindsided. Yet, I made a conscious choice to embrace this opportunity. I opted to take the longer route home, fully aware that my tween was engaging in a rare, open dialogue about sex. I didn’t know when or if this chance would come again. Perhaps it was the dimly lit roads or the fact that we weren’t facing each other that encouraged him to open up, but it happened, and I was grateful for it.

As our discussion on sexting concluded, he hesitantly requested to ask one more question, his tone suggesting it might be sensitive. “What’s that, bud?” I prompted.

“Well, some boys talk about this thing involving blowing. Something like blow work. I don’t understand what that means. Can you explain?”

In that moment, I faced a critical decision: Should I provide an explanation, brush it off as inappropriate, or pull over and call my spouse for support? I was unsure but ultimately chose honesty. I spoke candidly about the topic, ensuring to clarify that in committed relationships, intimacy should be mutual—it is never just one-sided. I emphasized that if he receives pleasure, he should also provide it—a straightforward principle that I hope will resonate with him in future relationships. After all, I want his future partner to know that their needs matter too.

While recounting this experience to friends, I was met with shocked expressions and disbelief. Many have criticized my approach, suggesting I’m condoning premarital sex or crossing boundaries by discussing explicit content with my child. Yet, despite the judgment, I stand by my decision. I hope that my willingness to be open has established a foundation of trust, encouraging him to continue seeking reliable information from his father and me.

In the realm of parenting, it’s vital to remember: if you understand it, you share it. For more on topics related to home insemination and starting a family, check out this informative article on home insemination kits and for more resources, visit NHS’s overview of intrauterine insemination.

Summary

This article discusses the importance of open communication between parents and children about sensitive topics like sex. It illustrates a personal experience where a mother faced her son’s questions about sexting and sexual acts, ultimately choosing to respond honestly. The narrative emphasizes the significance of mutual respect in relationships and aims to foster a trusting dialogue moving forward.

Keyphrase: open communication with children about sex

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