The Overbearing Burden of Tidying Up

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Have you ever received a gift that made you question the giver’s intentions? I recently unwrapped The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing—a book that I suspect many of you received from an overly optimistic friend or relative, perhaps a well-meaning aunt. You know the one, who gives you that knowing smile that implies your home could use a little “help.” Spoiler alert: it probably could, but that’s not the point.

My curiosity got the better of me, prompting me to dive into Marie Kondo’s book. I wondered if it contained some glorious technique that would magically tidy up after my children or even persuade my partner to part with every obsolete gadget we’ve ever owned. As I flipped through the pages, I found myself yearning for a little relief from the chaos that seems to engulf our lives at the start of each new year.

Initially, Kondo’s philosophy resonated. The KonMari Method suggests that every item in your home must have its designated place and that we should minimize our possessions. My imagination danced with visions of trash bags filled with unneeded items making their way to the curb. But then, things took a bizarre turn, reminiscent of that one eccentric relative who waxes poetic about the power of crystals.

I endeavored to stick with it, until I reached the part where Kondo suggests bringing your shampoo and soap into the shower with you each time, drying them off afterward and expressing gratitude for their role in your cleanliness. At that point, I erupted in frustration and tossed the book aside. Who has time for that?

Kondo’s perspective seems to emerge from a different reality—one where parents like myself, who juggle countless responsibilities, can afford to pamper their belongings as if they were family members. Here are a few of Kondo’s suggestions that might strike you as amusingly impractical or perhaps a sign of madness:

  • Socks should never be crumpled together; they need time to relax in the drawer after a long day of supporting your feet.
  • Out-of-season clothes should remain accessible, as they require love and can become “depressed” when stored away.
  • Every time you come home, empty your handbag completely, placing everything in a designated box, only to repack before your next outing.

Seriously? I understand that Kondo might live in a tidier universe, but do I really need to be held accountable for my belongings’ well-being? No, thank you. The daily demands of caring for my family already leave me drained. The thought of my possessions having expectations of me—heavy, judgmental expectations—is overwhelming. My three-year-old already believes she has claim to all my time.

Kondo repeatedly emphasizes that the best way to decide what to keep is by holding each item and asking, “Does this spark joy for me?” If the answer is yes, you keep it; otherwise, it goes. However, I fear that under this method, I might end up discarding essential items, perhaps even one of my children.

In light of this, I propose that Kondo experiences my reality and applies her methods in the following scenarios:

  • Comfort a child covered in vomit while explaining why they must go to school tomorrow smelling like their midnight flu episode because you lacked a free hand to grab the soap.
  • Calmly inform your partner why you discarded their collection of outdated magazines, emphasizing that they simply didn’t evoke any joy for you.
  • Try to gather the essentials from your handbag when your toddler has decided they belong in her treasure trove, all while running late for work.

If Kondo can navigate this chaos and find joy in tidying up, more power to her. I eagerly await her next book, The Magic of Getting Your Children to Stop Leaving Their Clothes on the Floor. Now that would truly bring me joy.

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Summary

The article explores the impracticality of Marie Kondo’s tidying philosophy through the lens of a busy parent, highlighting the absurdity of treating possessions as entities deserving of care and attention. The author humorously critiques Kondo’s methods while advocating for a more realistic approach to managing the chaos of family life.

Keyphrase: The burden of tidying up

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