As a mother for six years, I have observed a concerning trend in parenting communities that stirs feelings of discomfort and frustration within me. Many mothers wear this mindset as a badge of progressiveness, believing they are not just tolerant, but genuinely open-minded. However, this belief is fundamentally flawed.
The concept of colorblindness—teaching children to ignore race—actually supports racism rather than opposing it.
A few years back, while waiting outside my daughter’s preschool for her to be dismissed, I witnessed a striking moment. As children streamed out, one boy exclaimed with delight, “MOM! There are brown kids in my class! Three brown kids!” His mother’s face turned pale, and she quickly shushed him, scanning the area to see who might have overheard. The boy’s expression shifted to confusion; he seemed unsure about his excitement being wrong.
That same year, after a Christmas Eve service, my family and I dined at a nearly empty restaurant. A young girl, around five years old, wandered over from her family’s booth, clearly intrigued by my two-year-old and the newborn in my arms. “Hi,” she said, peering at us. I anticipated her question, sensing her curiosity.
“Are those your kids?” she asked.
“Yes,” I replied, noticing her parents’ shocked expressions. They remained silent, as if paralyzed by the situation. I felt compelled to provide clarity for the girl. “My kids are adopted. Do you know what adopted means?”
She looked intrigued but stayed silent. “They came from another mommy who couldn’t take care of them, so we take care of them now,” I explained. Then she asked, “Do they see their other mommies?”
“Yes, we visit their other mommies,” I shared.
The little girl observed, “My baby brother uses the same bottles as your baby.” This shifted the conversation, and I noticed her parents visibly relax as her father called her back to their table.
Encounters like these are not isolated. There have been instances where children questioned how I could be the mother of my black children, or a young cashier wondered if my caramel-skinned son was mine. Each of these moments revealed a thirst for truth.
Parents must understand that the worst approach to shaping their child’s understanding of race—and any significant topic—is to ignore, silence, or dodge their inquiries. Children are perceptive; they can sense when adults are avoiding the truth. Such avoidance breeds distrust and uncertainty, which are detrimental to healthy relationships.
If you choose to advocate for colorblindness instead of embracing the complexities of race, you not only diminish a vital aspect of my children’s identities but also deny your child’s right to understand, appreciate, and celebrate differences.
The next time your child points out a family that looks different or expresses excitement about a new friend who doesn’t resemble them, take a moment to breathe, engage, and share the truth.
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In summary, fostering an understanding of race in children is crucial for building a more inclusive future. By addressing questions honestly and thoughtfully, we equip them with the knowledge to embrace diversity and combat prejudice.
Keyphrase: Understanding Race in Children
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