At the age of 12, I made my first conscious effort to lose something significant. As a child with a heavier build, weight loss often topped my New Year’s resolutions. Over the years, my goals evolved; some years I aimed to quit habits, like nail-biting, while other years I dove headfirst into the latest weight-loss fads. For over three decades, I’ve been preoccupied with the idea of losing or quitting something.
However, throughout this journey, I never paused to consider what I truly wanted to gain. Lately, I find myself reflecting on what that might be. Is it something I once had and lost, or perhaps something I never embraced due to fear?
One possibility that comes to mind is my voice. Like many women, I’ve spent a lifetime adopting the opinions and feelings of others, often drowning out my own inner voice. Whenever I muster the courage to express myself, guilt often follows. I question whether I acted appropriately and frequently suppress my own thoughts, hesitant to let them define me.
This habit of silencing my voice has become ingrained in me. My pursuit of perfection has led nowhere productive. I am weary of taking the easy route to avoid conflict and instead of standing firm in my beliefs, I often choose to maintain peace at the expense of my authenticity.
We impose immense pressure on ourselves to meet expectations and please those around us. It’s easy to live in a comfort zone, convinced that this is the right path. We ignore the inner voice urging us to remain true to ourselves, the one that empowers us to honor our identities.
My pursuit of reclaiming my voice has taken on newfound significance, especially as I watch my 8-year-old daughter navigate similar struggles. She often holds back her thoughts when faced with questions, instinctively seeking validation from others. I see her struggle to articulate her feelings, only to withdraw into silence—waiting for someone else to speak up.
We frequently discuss the importance of self-expression. I encourage her to assert her thoughts with confidence and pride. She listens intently as I express my frustrations about the situations I’ve allowed myself to be in, and she absorbs my self-disappointment when I fail to assert my voice.
It’s essential to recognize that young girls don’t simply choose to suppress their voices; this is something we inadvertently teach them. After much reflection, I’ve come to understand that I have the power to shape my identity. My voice is not something I can simply find; it’s something I must actively cultivate and integrate into my being.
Sometimes, I wonder why it took me so long to embrace my voice and trust in its validity. Yet, I remind myself that personal growth occurs at its own pace. I will arrive at my destination when I am ready.
In conclusion, as I move forward into the new year, my goal is to focus on gaining my voice and encouraging my daughter to do the same. Together, we can break the cycle of silence and learn to speak our truths with confidence.
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Keyphrase: Gaining my voice
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