As a full-time working mother, my daily routine involves a balance of professional and personal responsibilities. I work from 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. in a leadership role, guiding a team under my supervision. Once the workday concludes, I pick up my children from after-school care and manage the evening routine, which includes preparing meals, engaging in conversations, reading bedtime stories, and ensuring they feel cherished. After they drift off to sleep, I tackle laundry, writing, and other tasks during what I refer to as my “me time.” My weekends are dedicated to transporting my kids to their various extracurricular activities, ensuring they have opportunities for enrichment that can’t fit into our busy weekdays.
This is our norm, and it repeats weekly. I don’t view my life as any more complex or taxing than other forms of motherhood. Having been a stay-at-home mom and a work-at-home mom, I understand the demands of each role. What truly frustrates me as a working mom is the frequent remark, “I don’t know how you do it!” While I appreciate the sentiment, it carries implications that subtly diminish the capabilities of full-time working mothers.
When someone states, “I don’t know how you do it,” they inadvertently suggest a couple of things. Firstly, there’s an underlying message that managing work alongside parenting is overwhelming for one woman. When did we collectively decide that balancing a career and motherhood was an insurmountable challenge? Why do we regard fulfilling our days with meaningful activities as a monumental task?
The phrase also implies, “I couldn’t manage it,” which is simply untrue. Each of us juggles responsibilities, mixing our passions with the mundane. The differences in our to-do lists don’t define our abilities. Furthermore, there’s the concern for our children’s well-being. I recall a recent parent-teacher meeting where my daughter’s teacher remarked on her incredible work ethic, noting how she’s among the last to leave after-school care. Yet, the same phrase echoed: “I don’t know how you do it.” With my child thriving and happy, such comments feel misplaced. Should we not encourage future generations to believe they can “have it all,” irrespective of what that looks like for them? Do we need to suggest to a young, successful child that her parents are somehow failing her by working?
More importantly, if I am climbing Everest every day, what does that imply about the challenges faced by mothers who choose to stay home? It’s crucial to recognize that every mother, regardless of her situation, is working hard. Saying “I don’t know how you do it” to a working mom is akin to telling a stay-at-home mom, “I don’t know how you do so little.” Such comparisons are pointless and foster unnecessary division.
While it’s important to express admiration for one another, it would be even more beneficial to do so in a manner that uplifts rather than undermines. If you’re interested in learning more about the journey of motherhood and related topics, check out this resource on pregnancy or explore this link for fertility boosters for men. Additionally, you may find valuable insights in our post about artificial insemination kits.
In summary, working mothers face unique challenges, and it’s essential to acknowledge their efforts without implying that their roles are burdensome or extraordinary. Each mother’s experience is valid, and we should strive to support one another in our respective journeys.
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