As we approach the New Year, it’s a perfect time for toddlers to reflect and set some lighthearted resolutions that could make parenting a tad easier. Here’s a whimsical take on what resolutions we might wish for our little ones to adopt:
- Prioritize sleep. And let’s minimize couch-nose wiping, shall we?
- Keep toys in order. Farewell, my old nemesis, Bins of Chaos!
- Come to terms with the fact that knives, pens, and loose coins are not suitable companions at this age.
- Enhance my social skills. I’ll be kinder to familiar faces and maybe a bit more reserved with strangers.
- Aim for cleanliness. I’ll strive to reduce my public restroom touch points—currently impressive but not ideal.
- Ditch the remote control. It’s been a rocky relationship filled with misunderstandings and family drama.
- Let go of minor frustrations. Broccoli with mashed potatoes? A delicious combo! Stuffed animals out of place? A new decor style! Zipped jackets in winter? Totally cozy!
- Be eco-conscious. I’ll refrain from unrolling toilet paper everywhere, no matter how exhilarating it feels.
- Boost efficiency. My first challenge: reducing the 28 minutes it takes to get dressed to just 14.
- Discover a solo hobby. Criteria: it must be affordable, interruption-free, and free from endless expansions or travel commitments.
- Master a new skill—like aiming: vomit in the bucket, pee in the toilet, food in my mouth.
- Stop comparing myself to older kids. No more tantrums when I can’t be carried like my baby sibling.
- Accept the current season of life—warm coats in winter and sunscreen in summer are essential!
- Improve my appearance. Less syrup in my hair, more matching socks.
- Tame my early riser instincts, especially when my parents are feeling a bit under the weather.
- Face my fears: the doctor, owls, nighttime noises, and the mystery of brushing my teeth for more than 30 seconds.
- Acknowledge that not all mail is addressed to me.
- Work on sharing. Time to move away from my “all toy food in the bathroom” philosophy during playdates.
- Contemplate bigger questions, like where does all the clutter I leave behind go?
- Revamp my diet. I’ll investigate if pasta with red sauce is as transformative as my parents claim.
- Learn to appreciate our belongings without feeling the urge to color on them.
- Cultivate patience. If 2016 is about stretching my limits, I’ll give it my best shot.
- Rethink my reaction to the word “no.” The dramatic breathing trick didn’t serve me well in 2015.
- Break my habit of adjusting the dishwasher to rinse only; it’s time for a change.
- Simplify my life by reducing the number of times I ask “why?” daily.
- Address my trust issues. When my parents advise against spontaneous tag games in parking lots, I’ll take their word for it. And when my cousin says “jump from the top bunk, I’ll catch you,” I’ll reconsider.
As for myself, I will be embarking on a juice cleanse, as my current state consists of approximately 99 percent almond croissant. I can only imagine this will resonate with my toddler’s resolutions too; after all, a juice cleanse without the need for my cooking sounds appealing.
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In summary, these resolutions not only provide a humorous glimpse into the toddler mindset but also serve as a reminder for parents to embrace the little quirks that come with raising young children.
Keyphrase: toddler New Year’s resolutions
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