By: Emily Thornton
As I sat in the drive-thru of our local bank with my 4-year-old, we were eagerly discussing the flavor of the lollipop she hoped to receive. Then came the moment of disappointment: the bank tube returned empty, devoid of the coveted treat. “Oh no, Mia! It seems the teller forgot to include the lollipop,” I said, trying to keep my tone upbeat. But as the seconds dragged on, Mia’s silence was suddenly shattered by a loud, “Dammit!” She threw her drawing pad and pencils down in frustration.
I was relieved she couldn’t see my expression. Honestly, there was a mix of humor and a bit of pride in her precise use of the expletive. If anything warranted a “dammit,” it was certainly an empty bank tube. I attempted to explain that such words were for adults and suggested alternatives like “rats” or “shucks,” hoping to redirect her frustration.
Later that day, my 9-year-old, Ava, informed me that Mia had once again expressed her annoyance with a “dammit!” after the iPad refused to answer her questions. I knew my earlier guidance hadn’t quite taken root.
A few days later, when I had to tell Mia that the Broncos had lost their game, she responded with a cleverly altered, “Oh, bammit!” Clearly, she had found a loophole. This wasn’t our first encounter with colorful language; when Mia was just 2, she went through a phase of using the F-word with remarkable context. During a road trip, I feared she’d drop a snack and exclaim, “Ohhhh, fuck!” in front of her great-grandmother.
Initially, I tried to ignore her use of profanity, believing that responding would only empower her. This approach somewhat worked—until she let loose at daycare. Fortunately, I didn’t receive any concerned calls from other parents. Eventually, I had to address it gently, and she gradually stopped.
Ava, the more reserved older sibling, had her own swearing incident. One day, after I told her that her favorite pink pants were still wet, she exclaimed, “I guess I’ll just have to wait ’til fuckin’ morning!” I turned away, stifling laughter, and casually asked her to repeat herself. Without missing a beat, she adapted to, “I guess I’ll just have to wait ’til crummy morning!” and that effectively ended her swearing phase.
Here’s the reality: swearing isn’t the end of the world. My kids have clearly picked up these words from me—I can’t deny that. While I don’t regularly use profanity around them, I have been known to let out a “dammit” in moments of frustration. After all, what else is there to say when you miss the school bus?
I strive to minimize unnecessary swearing in front of my children, but my primary goal is not to shield them from bad language. They will encounter these words, learn their usage, and figure out the appropriate contexts for swearing. What’s more important is teaching them about the real harmful words—like “stupid” or “hate”—which truly have the potential to hurt others. A sporadic “dammit” from a loving child? I can accept that.
For parents navigating similar challenges, remember that while profanity may seem alarming, it can also provide an opportunity for important conversations about language and respect. For more about parenting and fertility, check out our article on couples’ fertility journeys for intracervical insemination at Make a Mom and consider the expert resources available at Women’s Health for pregnancy and home insemination topics. For those interested in home insemination products, visit Make a Mom’s BabyMaker Kit.
In summary, while swearing is often seen as a taboo subject, it’s crucial for parents to approach it thoughtfully and use it as a teaching moment. Encouraging children to express frustration in appropriate ways will help them develop a more nuanced understanding of language as they grow.
Keyphrase: preschoolers swearing
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