When embarking on the journey of parenthood, a flood of advice often inundates new parents. “Make sure she wears a hat!” “Feed her every two hours, no more, no less.” “Keep her indoors; she might get sick!” “Adjust her head; that doesn’t look comfortable.” “Where’s her hat? It’s essential!” The sheer volume of suggestions can be overwhelming and sometimes only intermittently beneficial.
When my second child was born, I felt prepared. I had responses and rationales for every piece of parenting guidance I had encountered. “Bring it on!” I thought, as I ventured into the world with my infant. Surprisingly, the advice I had anticipated was absent. Instead, I received smiles and compliments without any critique on my parenting choices. This time, I was simply allowed to engage with my child.
By the time you welcome your second child, you transition from being the recipient of advice to becoming the one offering it. After a year in this new role, I find myself navigating the delicate balance of sharing insights without overwhelming new parents with the emotional weight that often accompanies unsolicited advice. I can share my personal experiences—what has worked, what hasn’t, what I cherished, and what my baby appreciated. I can recount the joyful moments alongside the challenges.
As I cradled my 15-month-old daughter in my arms, watching her eyelids grow heavy as she drifted into slumber, a quote I stumbled upon online resonated deeply with me: “Whatever’s good for your soul…do that.” In that moment, I reflected on my own well-being. There was no place in the world where my youngest daughter wanted to be more than nestled in my arms. If that’s not nourishing for the soul, I don’t know what is.
Interestingly, one of the many pieces of advice I received during those early months with my first child was, “Don’t rock her to sleep! You’ll regret it!” Each time I rocked her to slumber, I felt a pang of anxiety about future regrets. I explored alternative sleep strategies, attempting to put her down “drowsy but awake,” as suggested. Sometimes it worked, often it didn’t. Ultimately, I rocked her anyway. Did it have lasting implications?
Does my now 3½-year-old sneak into our bed at night because I rocked her too frequently? Perhaps. Do I regret those moments? Absolutely not. Do I hide when I rock my second daughter, fearing judgment for indulging in this “forbidden” act? Not at all. Do I hope she too will seek nighttime snuggles when she reaches the same age? I genuinely hope so.
I have two daughters in this life, and if they desire even a moment longer to snuggle with their mother, I welcome it wholeheartedly. My soul is ready. Sign me up!
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Summary
The journey of parenting is filled with unsolicited advice, especially for new parents. As a second-time mother, I reflect on the advice I received and how it shaped my approach. A poignant quote reminds me of the importance of moments spent with my children, where the act of rocking them to sleep becomes a cherished experience rather than a source of regret. Embracing these moments feeds my soul and fosters a deeper connection with my daughters.
Keyphrase
Parenting advice transformation
Tags
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