Why I Abandoned the DIY Parenting Craze

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I got married just a couple of months before I discovered Pinterest, right around the time barn weddings were becoming a trend. My reaction was intense; I was furious to learn that there was a simpler way to organize my wedding than the numerous folders cluttering my browser bookmarks. There were s’mores bars, homemade jam party favors, floating paper lantern send-offs, and an abundance of mason jars—everywhere. It was stunning, yet it made my eye twitch.

As time passed, I amassed thousands of pins, crafting visions of my dream home complete with slides instead of stairs. I gathered enough dinner recipes to ensure I wouldn’t repeat a crockpot meal during a presidential term. With thoughts of motherhood swirling in my mind, the exquisitely decorated nurseries I pinned made my heart race.

Then I got pregnant. My imaginary nursery became a reality, and in just nine months, I would have a cozy space to inhabit, albeit while sleep-deprived and disheveled. The morning sickness during my first trimester left me anchored next to my toilet, which I cleaned with a Pinterest-recommended concoction of organic vinegar and Clorox. My vision for the perfect nursery morphed about nine times during my second trimester. By the third trimester, I was sitting in my rocking chair, barking orders at my husband about the precise spacing for the chevron stripes he was painting on the walls. I attempted to crochet adorable stuffed animals, convinced that they would be practical for my drooling newborn.

The night before my induction, I was up late, meticulously arranging bookshelf displays. I even turned down a lovely dinner out with my husband to embroider an organic cotton onesie, ensuring our baby would be Instagram-ready for my modest following. I went to bed anxious over the Dr. Seuss quote I hung on the wall—did I make the right choice?

The subsequent months are a blur of sleepless nights and chaotic days, and I likely blocked out much of it. However, as my son grew, I returned to my old Pinterest habits, creating a board titled “1st Birthday Party.” My life was slowly coming together, and I was determined to throw a fantastic birthday bash for my child, who wouldn’t even remember it. I envisioned a theme-less celebration, simply inspired by a picture of blurred city lights.

I was determined to provide healthy snacks, a well-coordinated tablescape, and hand-lettered cards with witty names for every item. Meanwhile, I recalled how our mothers had simply grabbed supplies from Party City for our own birthday celebrations. Yet here I was, sewing a birthday crown at 3 a.m., feeling the pressure of modern parenting.

That experience led me to vow to step back from Pinterest. As a full-grown adult, I often struggle to summon the energy for basic self-care, let alone elaborate DIY projects. As a stay-at-home parent, I realized that I didn’t have to fit every meal into a bento box or clean my house with expensive essential oils. I’d rather tell my child to watch Netflix while I freshen up my yoga pants than spend hours crafting sensory bins filled with dried pasta. I opted for takeout because even if a homemade meal took less time, delivery was faster. I preferred to use store-bought cleaning products rather than concocting my own from scratch—my family’s health was more important than a DIY project.

When meeting other parents at preschool, I made it clear that my snack contributions would consist of cheese sticks and grapes, uncut. If I encountered a gluten-free fruit kabob shaped like a character from a movie, I would not hesitate to express my disdain.

For my son’s next birthday, we chose an indoor play center resembling Chuck E. Cheese’s, minus the arcade games. I went to bed at a reasonable hour, brought store-bought cupcakes, and let the kids indulge in pizza and juice. They ran around joyfully, and we didn’t have to clean up afterward. My only boasting was sharing that I purchased the decorations at a local store.

In embracing this new mindset, I found happiness in motherhood. Lowering the bar made it easier to rise above it when I slipped into my comfortable clothes. My message is not to avoid special efforts for your children but to reserve them for occasions that truly matter; otherwise, they lose their significance, and you risk exhausting yourself. The key to contentment in parenting is to opt out of the competitive “Mommy Wars” and instead enjoy a drink with your friends.

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In summary, I learned to prioritize my well-being while still celebrating special moments with my child. By stepping back from unrealistic expectations, I became a happier parent, focused more on experiences than on elaborate preparations.

Keyphrase: DIY Parenting
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