By: Sarah Thompson
Updated: Dec. 7, 2018
Originally Published: Dec. 8, 2015
Recently, I attended a baby shower for a dear friend whose wife is expecting their first child. While seated among her college friends, all beginning their own paths into marriage and parenthood, one young woman expressed her astonishment at the fact that I am a mother of four. “I can’t imagine being a mother right now,” she joked, turning to me with curiosity. “What’s it like?” she asked. “What’s it like to be a mother?”
“It’s wonderful,” I replied. “It’s challenging but incredibly fulfilling.” She smiled, seemingly satisfied with my response, before focusing on the snacks at the table. Yet, my answer barely scratched the surface. As she turned away, I reflected on the deeper truth of motherhood—the kind of answer I would offer if only time and words permitted me.
To be a mother means to constantly feel as though you’re not doing enough, yet simultaneously grappling with the limits of what you can offer. It involves dedicating all your time and energy to nurturing another human being, while often feeling guilt about what you haven’t accomplished.
Motherhood is a journey filled with tough decisions. You may find yourself agonizing over choices like selecting the perfect back-to-school backpack, the healthiest snack combinations, or the most enriching music classes. There’s an ever-present worry if the apple in your child’s lunch isn’t organic, or if their shampoo lacks natural ingredients. You might even visit multiple stores just to find chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs, believing that your child’s happiness is paramount.
To be a mother is to recognize the harsh realities of the world while feeling guilty over minor inconveniences, like your child not getting the sneaker color they desire. It’s an awareness of how fortunate your children are while still wishing to provide them with even more—often leading to feelings of inadequacy over things they may not actually need.
You develop an empathy for other mothers, especially those facing profound challenges. Before becoming a parent, I would feel sadness for a mother with a sick child; now, I feel their pain as if it were my own. I carry that grief with me, sometimes imagining the unfathomable scenario of one of my children facing such hardship.
Motherhood brings a newfound appreciation for parents of children with special needs and a constant, quiet fear of serious illnesses that could affect your own children. It’s a surreal experience to gaze into your child’s eyes and see reflections of yourself, rediscovering the joys of childhood as you share fairy tales, superheroes, and even the taste of childhood treats like Hello Kitty gum.
You will experience highs and lows alongside your children. Every victory—be it a sports score or an academic achievement—feels monumental, and you celebrate each milestone as if it were your own.
As a mother, you come to understand the depth of parental love, realizing that it can sometimes hurt more than it hurts your child. You can feel anger yet still express unconditional love, and your child will always be your baby, no matter how much they grow.
Moreover, you might yearn to change the world but feel overwhelmed by daily life, losing sight of broader issues such as children in poverty or those in refugee camps. It’s a paradox; wanting solitude to recharge yet quickly missing your children in their absence. You might find yourself discussing potty training while dressed for a night out, sharing pictures of your kids with strangers—something you once would have found tedious.
Motherhood also invites existential questions about the afterlife, particularly the unimaginable pain of contemplating life without your child. Frustrations arise over trivial matters, leading to moments of anger and regret. Yet, you learn that you can survive on little sleep and quick meals, all while striving to navigate the complexities of parenting, even when there is no perfect way to do it.
Ultimately, to be a mother is to understand a profound love—one that is all-consuming and unlike anything you could ever prepare for.
But I realize now that I couldn’t fully convey the experience of motherhood to that young woman, as each mother’s journey is unique. So, if she were to ask again, I would stick with my simple response: “It’s wonderful.” And I would hope that she, too, is fortunate enough to experience this profound journey in her own time.
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Summary
Motherhood is a complex journey filled with joy, challenges, and profound love. Each mother’s experience is unique, characterized by the balance of nurturing, decision-making, and the emotional rollercoaster that comes with parenting. While it can be overwhelming, the rewards of motherhood are immeasurable.
Keyphrase: “journey of motherhood”
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