As a visually impaired woman in my 30s, I often attract attention. The sight of someone my age using a white cane can be surprising to many. When my partner and I learned we were expecting just six months after I lost my sight, we were both taken aback. The prospect of becoming parents filled us with both excitement and anxiety. While we had confidence in our ability to love and nurture our child, we understood that the terms “disability” and “pregnancy” don’t typically coexist in public perception.
As my pregnancy progressed, I transitioned from an oddity to a spectacle. People seemed unable to comprehend that a blind woman could be pregnant and planning to raise a child. The intrusive questions I faced added significant stress to my already high-risk pregnancy, amplifying my fears. I longed for genuine support and celebration, yet congratulatory messages were often overshadowed by unwarranted comments and touches on my growing belly. During one of my routine ultrasounds, I broke down in tears over this reality. My doctor, offering comfort, asked me a pivotal question: “Why do you care?” That question struck a chord. If I was about to embrace motherhood, I needed to develop resilience against negativity.
Here are some common questions I faced, along with my responses:
- Was this pregnancy planned?
Yes, the act of conception was planned, but the baby was a delightful surprise. Family planning is a joint effort between my partner and me. We were overjoyed to discover I was pregnant, even if it came shortly after my vision loss. Can we focus on the joy of new life? - You’re not keeping it?
Why would I not keep my child? I am an educated individual in a loving, stable relationship with the resources needed to provide for this baby. Many capable, financially stable disabled individuals raise children. Perhaps you were unaware of this? - Where’s the father in all of this?
You mean my husband of a decade? He’s thrilled about becoming a father and is right here with me. Disabled couples can have meaningful relationships just like anyone else. Do you think my disability prevents me from having a fulfilling partnership? - I didn’t think disabled people were ‘allowed’ to have kids.
There is no law mandating sterilization for those with disabilities. We have relationships and families just like everyone else. People with disabilities can and do choose to have children every day, and we don’t require permission from anyone. - But how will you _________?
How will I manage tasks like changing or feeding my baby? Trust me, I have thought about these challenges extensively. Like every parent, I’m nervous about the journey ahead. I have time to develop strategies to meet the needs of my child, and I will seek out resources to help, just as any parent would. - Don’t you think having a disabled mother will be hard on your child?
Yes, it may pose challenges. I recognize my limitations, but being my child means learning resilience and empathy. They will understand that challenges can be overcome, and that disability does not define a person.
If you encounter a pregnant woman with a disability, please refrain from making assumptions or asking invasive questions. Instead, offer congratulations and acknowledge the joy of impending motherhood. Remember, the ability to love and nurture a child transcends physical limitations.
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In summary, a woman’s disability should not overshadow the joy and challenges of pregnancy. People should approach this topic with sensitivity and support rather than judgment.
Keyphrase: navigating insensitive questions during pregnancy
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