As the holiday season approaches, many individuals prepare for some of the year’s busiest travel days. Like countless others, I find myself journeying back to my hometown to engage in family festivities and cherished traditions. However, living in that frustrating middle ground—too close to fly but far enough to necessitate a lengthy drive—means I often encounter a variety of drivers along the way. After numerous trips through icy roads during the days leading up to Thanksgiving or Christmas, I’ve learned to expect a few distinct types of drivers. Whoever claimed that life is about the journey, not the destination, clearly hasn’t tackled several states’ worth of highway traffic during the holidays.
1. The ‘Turn Signals Are Optional’ Driver
It’s worth noting that those blinking lights on your vehicle aren’t just for decoration. They’re meant to signal to other drivers—like me, who’s minding my own business in the lane beside you—that you intend to change lanes. Neglecting to signal forces me to brake, swerve, or express my frustration vocally in ways that may not be suitable for all audiences.
2. The ‘High Beams All the Time’ Driver
High beams can be useful when navigating a deserted highway at night. However, they become significantly less helpful when you’re tailgating me with those bright lights glaring into my rearview mirror. If this continues, I may just find myself seeing the proverbial light after losing control of my vehicle.
3. The ‘Cruise Control? What’s That?’ Driver
Some drivers prefer to avoid cruise control, which is fine—provided they can maintain a consistent speed. However, if you passed me just a few minutes ago and are now fluctuating speeds like we’re in a dance competition, it makes for an exhausting trip to Grandma’s.
4. The ‘Speed Limits Don’t Apply to Me’ Driver
I admit, I sometimes push the speed limit slightly, but I do so cautiously. However, it seems like some drivers view the highway as their personal racetrack, charging toward me in my rearview mirror like a predator stalking its prey. The real joy comes when I pass them later, pulled over by a police officer, a fate they could have avoided with a little caution.
5. The ‘I Need to Zoom Past You Just to Exit in 10 Yards’ Driver
I understand your impatience, but when your exit is just ahead, is it truly necessary to speed past me only to cut in front for that gas station? Perhaps you’re racing with another driver to see who can reach the Holiday Douchebag Festival first. If you do, please bring back a souvenir for me!
6. The ‘Merging at 30 MPH is Fine’ Driver
Jumping onto a fast-moving highway at a snail’s pace is akin to trying to hop onto a treadmill—it’s a recipe for disaster. When you merge at 30 mph onto a 75 mph highway, I’m left with no choice but to either slam on my brakes or veer out of your way.
7. The ‘I’m Drafting You’ Driver
This isn’t a race; you don’t need to tailgate me as if we’re cycling in the Tour de France. By driving so close, you force me into an uncomfortable position of either speeding up or slowing down to encourage you to pass. Spoiler alert: I’ll likely choose to speed up.
8. The ‘Offended by Passing’ Driver
It’s natural to feel a twinge of annoyance when someone tries to pass you. However, when you decide to speed up just to block me, it turns a minor annoyance into a major irritation. Now I’m left looking ridiculous in the left lane while you zoom ahead.
9. The ‘Left Lane is My Personal Lane’ Driver
Most states have clear laws regarding the left lane’s purpose, yet some drivers seem oblivious. If you’re holding up traffic in the left lane, it’s time to reconsider your position and allow others to pass.
10. The ‘Movies for Kids in the Backseat’ Driver
I see you, entertaining your children with movies on your fancy minivan screen. I might find myself distracted, wondering what film you’re screening as I drive behind you. While I should appreciate your efforts, after encountering the other nine types of drivers, I’m likely to be a bit irritable.
Remember, these driver types can be of any gender or background. Holiday driving brings out the best and worst in all of us. Wishing everyone safe travels this season!
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In summary, holiday travel can be rife with frustrating encounters with various types of drivers. From those who neglect turn signals to those who speed aggressively, each driver type contributes to the overall experience of navigating the highways during this busy season.
Keyphrase: Holiday highway drivers
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