How My Mother’s Passing Inspired Me to Be a Better Parent

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On January 6, 2014, my mother made the heartbreaking decision to drive her car off a cliff. Although she had previously attempted to end her life, the reality of her death was still a devastating shock. At the time, I was navigating the challenges of motherhood with my 18-month-old daughter. I often find myself wishing for just one more moment with my mom, particularly during those overwhelming days of parenting my two daughters. While I long for her presence, I have come to recognize the valuable lessons her passing has imparted, ultimately guiding me toward becoming a more nurturing mother. Here are some insights I have gained since her tragic loss.

Cherish the Present, Release Regrets

My mother was often consumed by guilt and sadness regarding the time she felt she had squandered. She wished she could have been more present during my sister’s and my childhoods. What I wish she could have understood is that she had the chance to be actively involved in the lives of her adult daughters and grandchildren. To avoid living with the same regrets, I strive to make the most of each moment with my daughters. I focus on intentional interactions, ensuring we carve out time for cuddles and loving exchanges.

The truth is, we only have about 18 years with our children before they embark on their own journeys, and I refuse to let that time slip away. However, I also recognize my own humanity—I am not always the best version of myself when I’m tired or overwhelmed. I have made numerous mistakes during my motherhood journey and will continue to do so, but I prioritize self-forgiveness and growth over dwelling on my errors.

Leave Words of Encouragement

When my mother passed away, she left no farewell letter or explanation behind. Memories can fade, and photographs provide only a fleeting glimpse of our past. I deeply desire to have had her words of wisdom and love to hold onto. While it is too late for me to receive this from her, I can create a legacy for my daughters. I have begun journaling for each of them, expressing my love and hopes as a reminder of their worth. Someday, they will know without a doubt that they were cherished by their mother.

Recognize Your Inner Beauty

My mother frequently pointed out her insecurities, from skin issues to her weight. To me, she was the epitome of beauty. This sentiment is echoed in how our children perceive us; my preschooler constantly adorns me with headbands or tiaras, proclaiming my beauty. I am learning to accept this perspective and embrace my unique attributes, even as my self-doubt tries to convince me otherwise.

I want to teach my daughters to appreciate their own distinct beauty, talents, and passions. I refuse to shy away from taking pictures, dressing up for fun, or wearing a swimsuit simply because of insecurities. Every moment spent together is too precious to miss because of my self-consciousness.

Prioritize Your Well-Being

My mother was among the most selfless individuals I have ever known, always giving to others, including strangers. Although many of us may not face mental health challenges like my mother did, we can still become overwhelmed by life’s demands and neglect our well-being. I refuse to let poor health choices rob me of the joy of motherhood. I prioritize healthy eating, exercise, and carving out personal time for my interests and friendships. This commitment to self-care enhances my ability to be a better mother and person.

While I wish no one had to endure the pain of losing a loved one, I hope my experiences can inspire and uplift others in their parenting journeys. For more insights on home insemination and fertility, you can explore resources such as this article.

In conclusion, my mother’s tragic end has shaped my approach to motherhood profoundly. By cherishing the present, encouraging open communication, embracing beauty, and prioritizing self-care, I aim to honor her memory and be the best mother I can be.

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