As I reflect on my parenting journey, I often think about an archetype I can’t quite embody—the “other mom.” She is the one who readily embraces spontaneity, saying “yes” to her children’s requests without hesitation. Whether it’s playing games, reading stories, or baking cookies, she seems effortlessly present. In contrast, I find myself struggling to adopt that carefree spirit.
I occasionally fantasize about being that other mom. I imagine a day where I prioritize building a Lego zoo over tidying up the house. I envision myself allowing my partner to take the kids to the park instead of asking for help with chores so I can catch up on work. I dream about living in the moment rather than always preparing for the future.
This other mom is the one who allows dusting to wait while engaging in play. She doesn’t fret about the colors of Play-Doh mixing, nor does she raise her voice when the morning rush leaves everyone unprepared. I aspire to embody this relaxed approach to motherhood.
However, I am not that mom. I often wish I could release my anxieties, even if just for a day. I long for a moment when I wouldn’t worry whether my kids finished their lunch while I was at work. I sometimes yearn to forgo demanding constant updates about their day when I’m away. I wish I could overlook whether their jeans would get wet or if they have a spare set of clothes.
Instead, I find myself overly anxious, fixated on perfection, and letting minor details cloud my perspective. This stress can lead to impatience and a short temper when it’s unnecessary. My desire to be the perfect mother often prevents me from being the mom my kids truly need—one who embraces her imperfections.
I genuinely want to release the guilt that often accompanies my choices. I am not the mom who can easily disregard responsibilities or obligations. Instead, I often find myself caught up in chores like folding laundry or batch-cooking soup while my son eagerly awaits our dinosaur playtime. I recognize this internal conflict and wish I could ease my grip on these tasks. But I can’t seem to let go. I am not that mom.
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In summary, the internal struggle between the desire to be a carefree, spontaneous mother and the reality of my more structured approach is something many can relate to. Acknowledging these feelings may help alleviate the pressure to be perfect and pave the way for a more fulfilling parenting experience.
Keyphrase: not that mom
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