The children were finally settled after their baths, engrossed in a movie, and the day’s chaos was beginning to fade. It seemed like the perfect moment to reach out to my dear friend, Mia. It was 7:30 on a school night, so I was sure she would be home. I missed our conversations; aside from a few brief exchanges of “hello,” “life is hectic right now,” and “I’ll get back to you,” we hadn’t truly connected in nearly six months.
After eight years of friendship, I felt confident in our bond but was increasingly concerned about her well-being. Mia had been facing a challenging time since her father’s cancer diagnosis and had recently taken on a full caseload as a speech therapist now that her youngest child was in school full-time.
Our friendship had blossomed during the early days of motherhood. We had met when our first children were infants, supporting each other through potty training, sleepless nights, the arrival of additional babies, and the numerous milestones of childhood. We spent endless hours on the phone discussing everything from the latest television dramas to parenting dilemmas, often while multitasking with chores or meal prep.
As our children grew older, our lives became more structured with school schedules and extracurricular activities. The carefree phone calls while cleaning the kitchen or her long visits had faded into rare catch-ups. Despite the potential for our friendship to dwindle into mere holiday greetings, Mia had specifically asked me to stay in touch, and so I had made the effort.
Eager to reconnect, I called her home. Mia’s husband, Tom, answered.
“Hey, Tom. How have you been?”
“Doing well, Kathy. How about you and the kids?”
“Busy as usual, but good. Is Mia around?”
“No, she’s out with some friends.”
“Oh, wonderful. I’m glad she’s getting a chance to unwind. How is she?”
“She’s doing really well.”
A wave of unease washed over me. The way Tom said it struck me as off, and in that moment, I realized that my unreturned calls and her curt responses had nothing to do with her work or family issues—it was about our friendship.
I felt a deep sense of betrayal, akin to someone discovering infidelity in a romantic partnership. I ended the conversation quickly, asking Tom to let Mia know I called, and hung up feeling nauseated and hurt.
Mia and I had always confided in each other about our lives—our fears, challenges, and victories. We attended each other’s family celebrations and had discussed the serious matter of choosing guardians for our children. If she wanted to end our friendship, why hadn’t she just addressed it? After all, she had encouraged me to keep reaching out.
We had never had a falling out, nor did I recall any specific incident that could have caused her to withdraw. I reflected on my behavior, wondering if I had been too self-absorbed or needy.
The following day, I anticipated hearing from her, but I didn’t. A few days later, I left a heartfelt message apologizing for any inadvertent hurt I may have caused and expressing gratitude for her support over the years. But that was the last I ever heard from her. That was seven years ago.
Healing took time. The embarrassment of being “dumped” by a friend lingered for a while. After all, such breakups are typically associated with romantic relationships. However, as I began to share my experience, I realized I wasn’t alone. Many women had similar stories of heartache regarding platonic friendships.
With the passage of time, I can now reflect on my relationship with Mia without sadness or shame. She played a significant role in my life during pivotal moments, and I will always be thankful for her presence.
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In summary, friendships can change in unexpected ways, and it’s important to recognize that such experiences, while painful, are not uncommon. Embracing these moments can lead to personal growth and new perspectives.
Keyphrase: Friendship breakup
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