When my first child, Alex, was born, we implemented a comprehensive bedtime routine that included every method we could find: gentle nursing in low lighting, soothing infant massages, and calming lullabies. As he grew older, our routine expanded to include bedtime stories, sips of water, and prayers. By the time he was about three, it became quite the spectacle—games, songs, an endless number of prayers, back rubs, and snuggles. Eventually, we simplified this elaborate process to just brushing teeth and saying prayers, as the previous routine became too time-consuming.
However, bedtime still brings what I refer to as the “second act,” which starts the moment I kiss him goodnight, turn off the light, and leave the room. I often find myself standing in the hallway counting down: “Five, four, three, two, one…” only to be interrupted by a chorus of “Mom!” from inside the room.
“I need a drink of water,” calls my five-year-old. “It’s right by your bed,” I respond, giving him another kiss and attempting to focus on the dishes in the kitchen.
Then come the little footsteps padding down the hall. “Mom, I need to use the bathroom.” I allow him to go, returning to my chores. Moments later, I hear the floor creak again. “What now?” I ask, trying to suppress my growing irritation. “The fan is blowing on my feet,” he replies. So back I go to tuck his feet under the blanket, careful not to cover him too warmly or let him get tangled.
“Okay? Goodnight,” I say again, returning to the kitchen. There’s a brief period of calm before, without warning, a small head pops over the armchair. “I forgot something I wanted to tell you,” he says, clearly taken aback when I ask what it is. “Um…” he hesitates, searching for a valid excuse.
“Buddy,” I say, mixing calmness with urgency, “GET BACK INTO BED.”
Sometimes that ends the back-and-forth, but other nights can stretch on for two hours of this yo-yoing.
Is There a Potential Solution?
Research suggests that a “sleep pass”, similar to a hall pass, may be effective for children who frequently leave their beds and frustrate their parents while missing out on much-needed sleep. Dr. Emily Carter, who leads studies on child behavior at the Family Wellness Center, designed a study where children could use a 5-by-7-inch card as their one “get-out-of-bed-free” card during bedtime. This pass allowed them to leave their rooms for necessary reasons—like using the bathroom or asking for a cuddle—once per night. After using the pass, they were instructed to remain in bed, and parents were encouraged not to respond to any subsequent calls. The results showed a remarkable reduction in crying and nighttime exits. This method has been successfully replicated with larger groups of children, leading to a significant decrease in that frustrating bedtime “second act.”
The advantage of the sleep pass is that it grants both parents and children a sense of control in what can be a chaotic and emotional experience. Children understand they have the option to leave their room when it’s truly necessary, while parents can feel secure knowing they’ve set boundaries after the pass has been used.
I’m eager to try this sleep pass idea tonight, not only to lessen the bedtime back-and-forth that consumes so much of our evenings but also because my son truly needs more sleep. The contemplation of whether to use the pass might just be mundane enough to help him drift off peacefully.
Additional Resources
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Conclusion
In summary, the sleep pass may offer a structured solution to the bedtime struggles many parents face. By allowing children a single opportunity to leave their room, it can reduce the emotional turmoil often associated with getting kids to sleep. This strategy not only benefits parents by providing them with peace but also supports children’s sleep needs, potentially leading to a smoother bedtime experience for all involved.
Keyphrase: Sleep Pass for Bedtime
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