By: Jamie Thompson
Before I became a parent, I prided myself on my organization and planning skills. I often found it hard to comprehend how others managed their lives while seemingly operating on a whim. I cherished being prepared and considering those around me. However, since having children, I frequently feel overwhelmed and disorganized. It frustrates me that I’ve become the frantic parent I once judged, but it seems to be an inevitable reality when you’re focused on nurturing two energetic little boys. In the chaos of daily life, I find myself falling into certain habits that I wish I could change. Here are ten behaviors I find myself regretting:
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I often forget to reply to text messages.
If I don’t respond to a message as soon as it arrives, there’s a slim chance I’ll do so later. I have a habit of checking texts immediately to avoid that bothersome notification, only to forget about them later. While I genuinely want to keep the conversation going, it often slips my mind. I could suggest sending a follow-up message, but many of my friends, also busy parents, probably wouldn’t remember to do that either. We’ve grown to accept this about one another.
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I frequently set multiple alarms for daily tasks.
People without children might find it hard to imagine forgetting to pick up a child from school. Yet, I rely on alarms to remind me when it’s time to get my youngest ready to fetch his older brother. I need reminders for everything—from buying supplies for events to remembering doctor appointments and even simple messages (see point 1).
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I can’t recall anything without my smartphone.
This ties back to the previous point. My mind is so occupied that if I know something is noted elsewhere, I tend to forget it. I struggle to remember birthdays, phone numbers, or even basic facts, as I can simply look them up online. A five-item grocery list is only manageable with an app like Evernote.
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If it’s not on the calendar, it doesn’t exist.
There have been numerous occasions when my partner mentions a meeting, but if it’s not on my calendar, I won’t recall it. This can lead to disappointment when he has plans that I wasn’t aware of. I won’t remember to attend my own events unless they’re scheduled with an alert.
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I find myself rescheduling due to overbooking.
I dislike having to cancel plans, yet I’ve recently had to do so because I completely overlooked prior commitments. While it’s easy to blame my calendar, the reality is I often forget to check it before agreeing to new engagements.
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We are often late and rarely early.
I detest arriving late, and it frustrates me when others do as well. Before having kids, I adhered to the idea that being on time meant you were actually late. Now, we’re grateful if we arrive at all. The unpredictability of children, such as needing a last-minute diaper change, means that our timing can be thrown off.
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I’m never fully caught up.
Despite maintaining a to-do list to stay organized, it feels never-ending. The house remains in disarray, work piles up, and my children are always hungry. The only time I can truly relax is when I convince myself there’s nothing urgent to attend to, but this often leads to feelings of guilt rather than peace.
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I don’t reach out to loved ones anymore.
I used to regularly check in with friends and family, but now I struggle to even remember to say hello. I’ve resorted to setting reminders on my phone to maintain those connections.
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I no longer plan thoughtful gifts.
There’s hardly time to consider the perfect gift or write a heartfelt card. My gift-giving has become hasty, and I rarely plan beyond a few days ahead of an occasion. This lack of thoughtfulness saddens me, as I once enjoyed personalizing gifts.
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I seldom wrap presents.
In line with my gift-giving shortcomings, I rarely take the time to wrap presents anymore. If you receive a gift from me, it’s likely to come in a simple gift bag, sans any tissue paper.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels disheartened about becoming the unorganized parent I once vowed never to be. I could reach out to some fellow moms right now, but like me, there’s a slim chance they’ll have time to respond (see point 1).
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Summary:
Parenting brings a whirlwind of responsibilities that often leads to disorganization and stress. Many parents can relate to the struggle of keeping up with daily tasks, remembering commitments, and maintaining connections with loved ones. Embracing this phase of life can be challenging, but acknowledging these behaviors is the first step towards improvement.
Keyphrase: disorganized parenting
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