As a parent of a child with special needs, I often find myself reminding my 10-year-old son that while it’s completely understandable to dislike certain tasks—like homework or tidying his room—he still needs to complete them. Ironically, I now realize it’s time for me to heed my own advice, especially as I’ve received multiple reminders from my daughter’s special education teacher regarding the completion of the dreaded Parent Intake Form. And it’s only been a week!
It’s that time of year again when I must tackle questions like, “Do you believe your child will be able to act as their own legal guardian?” (Definitely not) and “What are your aspirations for your child’s future?” (Honestly, I’m unsure and prefer not to dwell on it). This September, my daughter, Mia, transitioned to a junior and senior high school specifically designed for teenagers and young adults with special needs. Clearly, my tendency to procrastinate on these forms is no longer acceptable.
I have never hidden my disdain for these forms. I struggle to provide answers to questions that I often feel unprepared to address. The underlying issue may be that I do know the answers, but I’m reluctant to confront them.
I’ve always aspired to be recognized as the “ideal special needs mom”—the one who is cooperative, timely with forms, and deeply appreciative of the professionals who support her child. I want teachers to feel comfortable sharing insights with me, and I enjoy building those relationships. The last thing I want is to be labeled as a “difficult” parent.
Yet, each year when this form arrives, I feel a surge of frustration as I am compelled to articulate the reality of Mia’s situation. Her challenges are significant and will likely require her father and me to provide care well into adulthood or even consider residential options. While she may have the potential for some job opportunities, they will necessitate continuous supervision. As she approaches 17, we must begin planning for her transition into adulthood, including securing legal guardianship when she turns 18, given that independent living isn’t an option for her.
Mia’s abilities fluctuate widely. Some days she can dress herself and prepare a snack; other days, she may express herself in a chaotic manner, such as when she screams “My baby elephant lost his umbrella,” all while tangled in her shirt and needing assistance.
During these moments, I find it challenging to empathize with parents of children who may have special needs but fit into the “quirky” category—those who might need school services but are likely to live independently later. Their experiences are not mine, just as I struggle to comprehend the challenges faced by parents whose children have different abilities than Mia.
This is why I dread these forms. They force me to confront an uncomfortable truth I’ve always known: despite Mia’s unique and wonderful qualities, she is profoundly disabled.
I may project a strong front, but if I’m honest, I secretly hope that one day she can achieve milestones similar to those of her brothers and cousins. Each year, I must confront an aspect of myself I prefer to keep hidden—the self-pitying, frustrated special needs mom that I usually manage to suppress. I hope that one day, she will fade away entirely. Until that day comes, I’ll reluctantly fill out the form, apologizing to the teacher for my delays and expressing my gratitude for her understanding. When I reach the final question about Mia’s career aspirations, I’ll respond as I have for three consecutive years: “Mia dreams of being a princess. We know there are limited openings, but we believe she has what it takes.”
This remains the one answer I wholeheartedly believe.
For those navigating similar journeys, it’s crucial to seek resources that can provide guidance and support. Understanding options for family planning and child development can be invaluable. For more insight into home insemination, visit this link. Additionally, to learn about intrauterine insemination, an excellent resource can be found here.
In summary, facing the realities of raising a child with special needs can be overwhelming. As parents, we often grapple with complex emotions and societal expectations. Acknowledging these feelings and seeking support can help us navigate this challenging yet rewarding journey.
Keyphrase: Parenting a Child with Special Needs
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]