As a parent, one often experiences the bliss of having a calm baby—until they reach about 18 months and suddenly develop a strong will of their own. This newfound independence often leads to clashes between a toddler’s desires and parental expectations. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if toddlers occasionally acknowledged our needs and cooperated? Here are 17 things toddlers almost never say, but we certainly wish they would.
- “Absolutely, I’ll sleep in a bit longer. I realize I was quite the handful last night, and an extra hour of rest would benefit us both.”
- “Look at me! I’ve put on my shoes and am patiently waiting by the door. I promise I won’t run away giggling while we’re already late.”
- “Any shirt works for me. The Elmo shirt is in the wash? No worries! This charming striped shirt from Grandma will do just fine, and I won’t make a face for the camera.”
- “I appreciate flexibility. You can cut my sandwich however you like!”
- “I’ll wait my turn for that shovel and gently take it from my new friend’s hand. No hitting involved!”
- “Mom, I know you’ve had a tough day, and I’m sure whatever you cook will taste great. Pasta every night can get monotonous!”
- “I’m excited for bath time! I’m equally thrilled to get out and be dried off. Any diaper will do; you don’t need to search for the Elmo one.”
- “I don’t need to discuss my anatomy in public, thank you.”
- “I adore transitions! Leaving the playground is exhilarating!”
- “I find great enjoyment in waiting my turn and resisting the urge to poke that other child in the eye.”
- “Washing my hair? Bring it on! I can tilt my head back and close my eyes like a pro. Water in my ears? It’s like a gentle massage.”
- “Please, cut my nails. I don’t enjoy the feeling of long, filthy nails curving around my fingertips.”
- “Grooming is growing on me. Go ahead, cut my hair! I love the barber shop vibes and the sound of the clippers!”
- “Your friend’s child? He’s a total delight! We’ll have fun together and take cute pictures. I promise not to claw at his eyes.”
- “I’ve been missing out on sitting in a high chair at restaurants! I hope the food takes forever to arrive. I won’t start fidgeting or make you anxious about the wait.”
- “Oh, cars invigorate me! While you want to get home and put me down for a nap, I promise not to fall asleep for just four minutes and then stay awake and irritable all day.”
- “I’ve got something on my hands—perhaps a bit of avocado. But you know what? I won’t bother you about it. Just enjoy your meal; you deserve it.”
While these phrases may not be common among toddlers at the moment, we can only hope they will eventually grow out of this challenging stage and ask, “Mom, how can I help?” Right?
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Summary
Navigating the toddler phase can be challenging, as little ones often have their own ideas that differ from parental expectations. However, imagining what they might say can provide some comic relief during the tougher moments.
Keyphrase: “things toddlers never say”
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