A year ago today, I found myself on the same couch, accompanied by my partner and the same psychologist who delivered the news that would change our lives: “autism.” It was said so casually, as if she were merely placing an order at a café. There was no emotion, no sense of urgency—just clinical terms that pierced my heart. Significant cognitive and language delay. Moderate to severe autism. My child.
Wait, what? How did we arrive at this moment? That day was overwhelming. I felt as though I was shrouded in a thick mist. The subsequent weeks were challenging in their own way. I began to understand that our family would not unfold as I had envisioned. My experience as a mother would differ from my expectations. And my precious child, you are not what I anticipated. However, dear one, I want you to know: you are so much more than any label. You exceed my dreams and hopes in ways I never imagined.
Strangely enough, receiving your diagnosis brought me a sense of relief. It was like receiving a golden ticket. This diagnosis unlocked access to invaluable therapies that have significantly benefitted you. Your therapists adore you, and it fills me with joy to see you eagerly run into their offices each week, ready to engage and learn. Your eye contact has improved remarkably, and you respond to your name most of the time now. You’ve begun to learn sign language and can express five words—mom, dad, done, go, and tickle. You’re also mastering potty training and even riding a scooter! Your love for bath time, playing outdoors, attending school, and wrestling with your dad remains as vibrant as ever. And you get along well with your younger brother, who looks up to you with adoration. He often gazes at you with a smile, whether we’re driving or swinging at the park. Do you see that? To him, you are a hero.
In many ways, you are my hero as well. You are teaching me to become the mother I aspire to be. You are showing me the meaning of perseverance, faith, and determination. You inspire me to advocate for your needs and what is right. You are providing me with opportunities to deepen my trust in the journey that lies ahead, knowing that there is a remarkable plan for your future.
Now, here we are, a year later, sitting on the same couch with the same psychologist discussing your progress and test results. Yet, so much has transformed since last year. You have made tremendous strides. Our family has also evolved as we navigate this journey together. Your father and I are immensely proud of your hard work. While these assessments may indicate areas where you lag behind your peers, we can address that later. Tonight, we will celebrate all the progress you’ve made. We’ll watch your favorite movie (Despicable Me), enjoy your preferred foods (waffles, apples, bacon, and tortilla chips), play outside, snuggle, laugh, and stay up a little later than usual. Tonight is all about celebrating the incredible you.
You are my greatest adventure. My love for you is as vast as the universe.
With love,
Mommy
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Summary: One year after an autism diagnosis, a mother reflects on her child’s progress and the unexpected journey they’ve taken together. Despite initial fears and uncertainties, love and determination have transformed their experiences into a celebration of growth and connection.
Keyphrase: autism diagnosis reflection
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