Over the years, many keen observers have noticed that my partner and I have only one child. Occasionally, bold individuals—mostly strangers—have even dared to ask if we plan to have more.
When I’m feeling particularly jovial, I might quip, “Are you selling any of yours?” or “I’ve been searching eBay for the right one.” However, more often than not, my mood isn’t quite so lighthearted, and my responses tend to veer into sarcasm.
It seems that when you have just one child, people feel entitled to inquire about your family planning in ways they wouldn’t dare in other contexts. While discussions about politics are often avoided unless you’re well-acquainted, questions about your family size seem to be fair game. These are the same individuals who might feel compelled to touch a pregnant woman’s belly or comment on your grocery cart contents at checkout.
“Buying 14 grapefruits?” they might ask. To which I’d reply, “Nope, just leasing them. Now move along, Rain Man.”
The conversation typically begins with, “So you only have one…” implying there should be a valid reason for not having more children. Instead of responding maturely, I often resort to passive-aggressive humor.
“Yep, my reproductive system took a hit after Vietnam, but I’d go back if they called. Good Vietnamese food is hard to find around here.”
“My partner and I thought the world had enough white people, but we weren’t interested in adopting. Most of the desirable Asian babies are already taken.”
“I had to hire someone to assist my partner in getting pregnant. Twice. We couldn’t afford to pay him more; if someone tells you they’ll do it for a sandwich, they’re lying.”
While I recognize that these questions are often well-meaning, they can feel insensitive. The reality is that my partner and I would love to have another child, or even two, but our age, finances, and pre-existing medical challenges limit our options.
Conceiving our daughter, Mia, took considerable time and effort. We meticulously tracked basal body temperatures, timed cycles, and even conducted some unconventional rituals. Despite our efforts, the process often resulted in more frustration than success.
Complicating matters, the penis can be rather temperamental, performing inconsistently under stress. One moment, it can be as firm as a motorcycle kickstand, and another, it resembles a marshmallow.
Ladies, if you sense a tense moment, don’t initiate conversation with questions about everything being alright. “Everything’s great,” I’d respond, “I just get a little flaccid sometimes.”
My partner faced her own hurdles, and while I won’t delve into specifics for propriety’s sake, it’s clear that the complexities of the female reproductive system can resemble an aging vehicle with its share of issues.
Eventually, we sought expert assistance and underwent multiple rounds of IVF. While that journey is too detailed for this context, it’s important to note that anyone claiming that nightly injections can strengthen your relationship is mistaken. After considerable time and various doctors, we ended up with viable embryos. However, due to an error, we thawed more embryos than intended during our first attempt, and none succeeded.
Mia was the result of our last implantation. Expecting disappointment, we were shocked when the doctor confirmed that my partner was pregnant.
Since then, we have contemplated adding to our family. While we no longer take precautions during the rare moments we feel energetic enough, the odds of conceiving are still slim.
Adoption has crossed our minds but has been ruled out. I like to think of myself as patient, yet the prospect of potentially resenting an adopted child if issues arose is a concern. Given that most children experience challenges, I believe adoption could lead to complications for everyone involved.
Moreover, IVF is not an option for us. The process is too demanding, costly, and exhausting for someone of my age and temperament. The shots, hormones, and uncertainty involved in IVF can be overwhelming.
After much deliberation, my partner and I have concluded that we need to focus on raising Mia rather than expending energy on the uncertain path of IVF. We prefer to invest our time nurturing the child we have instead of worrying about the potential of another. For those exploring home insemination, resources like Make a Mom’s BabyMaker at Home Insemination Kit and their Home Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit Combo can provide valuable insights. Additionally, Mayo Clinic’s IVF resource offers excellent information for those considering their options.
Summary
This article discusses the personal decision to have only one child, addressing societal questions and the challenges faced in expanding their family. It highlights the complexities of conception, adoption, and the emotional and financial considerations involved in parenting.
Keyphrase: Why We’ve Chosen to Have Just One Child
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]