Dear Cancer,
I despise you. You have stolen my hope, leaving me breathless and filled with terror. You launched an unprovoked attack when I was blissfully unaware, not only shaking my world but also traumatizing my loved ones in the process.
My greatest wish is for your demise. I yearn to see you wither away, never to return. Your absence would be welcomed by all; not a single person would mourn your departure. We collectively wish for your end. It’s not just my friends and family who share this sentiment; every individual who has ever encountered you harbors a deep-seated animosity towards your existence.
You instill fear in us. I used to avoid speaking your name, believing that uttering it would summon you. Regardless, you appeared anyway, taking me hostage and threatening my life. The most frightening aspect is that you could potentially return at any moment, stealthy and swift, completing the destruction you began. I feel so helpless in this struggle against you. Despite my best efforts to equip myself for battle, I fear it may not be enough to conquer you.
Countless dedicated individuals are tirelessly working to eliminate you from this planet. Many have faced you much longer and more fiercely than I have. Others have triumphed over you, thanks to the relentless efforts of those committed to your eradication.
You forced me to envision a life without me—one where my daughters would grow up without their mother to comfort them or share in their joys. A world where my husband would lie awake, missing my presence. The thought of someone else stepping into my role, hugging my girls, or dancing with my husband at their weddings, is unbearable.
If you were to win, life would carry on without me. My children would find happiness again; my husband might discover love anew. Yet, my fervent hope is that you vanish completely.
I continue to pray for your departure, but just when I begin to feel at ease, you reappear, haunting my thoughts and memories. You attack without hesitation, leaving scars that alter my very being. Even if you are gone from my life (and I hope that is the case), your impact remains indelible.
My hatred for you drove me to make sacrifices in an attempt to stave you off. I endured pain, feeling as if I was poisoning myself to keep you at bay. I found it challenging to walk to the bathroom without needing to rest. There were moments I questioned whether I should continue fighting or surrender entirely. You robbed me of precious time and continue to take pieces of my life away.
It has been two years since my breast cancer diagnosis—over 700 days since I endured excruciating procedures to remove parts of me. I underwent surgeries, chemotherapy, and countless hours of pain, yet I found a way to smile and love life amidst the agony. It was only after my last treatment that I allowed myself to confront the fear and pain I had masked for so long.
Today, I lead my life as if the battle never occurred. On the outside, everything appears unchanged, and many have moved on from my struggles. My daughters still have their mother, my parents still have their daughter, and my husband still has his wife. However, I cherish every moment more deeply now.
I shed tears when my eldest daughter got her ears pierced before her fifth birthday, unsure if I would witness it. I felt immense joy attending her kindergarten graduation. I’ve become more intentional about spending time with my family, embracing kindness and compassion more than ever before. I hug tighter, linger longer, and express my love more frequently.
So, while I harbor a deep loathing for you, Cancer, I also find myself thankful for the lessons you’ve imparted. Your unwelcome presence has illuminated the fleeting nature of life, reminding me to focus on the good and to be kind, regardless of circumstances.
No one is destined to live forever, and the timing of our exit remains unknown. One day, we will all be memories, and I hope mine are filled with warmth and devoid of your influence.
For those exploring the journey of parenthood, consider reading about couples’ fertility experiences at this resource. For those interested in home insemination, Cryobaby is a trusted source. Additionally, this link provides excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, cancer is a formidable adversary that can teach us valuable lessons about life and love. While it may instill fear, it can also lead to a deeper appreciation for every moment spent with our loved ones, reminding us to cherish our time together.
Keyphrase: Young Mother’s Letter to Cancer
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]